Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Yes, Homo.

So.....
I hope that everyone can accept as fact.

Rap music is drowning in overcooned thug culture
Black women, even the "conscious" ones, love thugs
Thugs wear t-shirts as dresses
Thugs sag their pants and show their underwear to other thugs
Thugs go to jail and have sex with other men
Women have unprotected sex with men who have been in jail

T.H.U.G.
The Homie's Usually Gay

Thugs are gay. Period. All of them.
You are on notice. All of you.

50 Cents plays with dildos






Snoop carries a purse.



And do we even need to go over this one again?






Monday, June 18, 2007

Do you know what I do?


I get into random conversations with people, and when I tell them I'm a fundraiser, their eyes usually get really wide.

"A fundraiser?? I need some funds! How much can you raise?"
almost verbatim what comes out of everyone's mouth.

I meet so many people who do good work, youth groups, education, social work, health care. At a business mixer the other day I struck up a conversation with a dude who happens to be the CEO of the East Bay Youth Consortium, a non-profit working with at-risk in Richmond, CA. They do good work.

Just last week I found out that my neighbor is Executive Director of the SMAAC Youth Center.





One of my best friends is Executive Director of The Jabez Project, whose work is centered around preparing youth for the SAT/ACT and California's high school exit exam.

Now..... not to be arrogant. But I am one of the best fundraisers ever.
Through personal donor generation and solicitations, I have raised over $5 million, mainly from individual donors, not corporate grants. I have developed programs for donor acquisition, generation, cultivation, stewardship, solicitation and development which have hundreds of thousands of contributions and tens of millions of dollars.

My fundraising program now at UC Berkeley has raised over $3 million and we are weeks away from snatching UCLA's crown as the most successful in the country.

I don't mean to brag,
I don't mean to boast,
(But I'm like hot butter on your breakfast toast)

Why am I writing this?
Because.... on any given weekend, I can speak at a Fundraiser's Conference or Convention and make between $600 and $1600 to talk, coach, or motivate for a couple of hours.
And time permitting, my consultant's rate starts @ $75 per hour.

But for people who do good work, for the people who don't have the resources that Corporate America does, I GIVE MY TIME AWAY.

There are too many non-profits closing.
There are too many clinics closing.
There are too many after school programs closing.
There are too many music programs closing.

And the number one problem, is $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
It's always money.

When you have to work a full-time job to pay the bills, it's hard to concentrate on another full-time job that ain't paying you.

I am a resource.
I live to give my time away.
Use me.

Want to make a film, but don't have the resources?
Have a 501(c)(3), but you're running it out of your living room?

Corporate America pays top dollar for this stuff.
We need to use our resources better.

Friday, June 8, 2007

The Barber

There once was a barber who owned a small barber shop.

One day, a fireman walks in and gets a cut.
The fireman says, "How much do I owe ya?"
The barber says, "Nothing my friend, its on me."

The next morning the barber finds a 10 gallon jug of water at the front of his shop.


The next day, a policeman gets a cut.
The policeman asks, "How much do I owe ya?"
The barber says, "Nothing my friend, its on me."

The next morning the barber finds a box of doughnuts at the front of his shop


The next day, a black dude gets a cut.
The black dude says, "How much do I owe ya?"
The barber says "Nothing my friend, its on me."

The next morning the barber finds 5 more black dudes at the front of the shop, asking about a free cut.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The TRUTH Behind the VA Tech Shootings: CIA was involved

These words are not my own, but the sentiment behind them is.
After 9/11, the answers came too quickly and too conveniently for me and for many.

2 days after this tragedy. I feel the same.

This dude made a videotaped confession and mailed it to NBC, but he FILED THE SERIAL NUMBERS OFF THE GUNS HE USED???

Think.

The only reason why people file serial numbers off of guns is to cover their tracks.
You can't trace the weapon, its origin, where it was made, who bought it, etc.

Why would some dude who would record himself confessing to a crime, and later KILLING himself at the scene, be concerned with covering his tracks???


Think.


Cho Seung-Hui's family was poor, and lived in a poor neighborhood in Seoul. One day, a government agent approached Cho's father if he was interested in winning a spot out of South Korea, to America. Interested, the father asks the agent about what must be done.

The agent tells Cho's father that research is being done in America about small children, but concedes that American families are not willing to have their children participate, although it is (theoretically) completely safe. The agent assures Cho's father that his son will not be harmed by the research. Reluctantly, Cho's father agrees. The agent keeps his word and arranges for the Seung family to emigrate to America. The Seungs relocate to America, incidentally, Fairfax County, Virginia, the same county that holds Langley (CIA Headquarters).

The "harmless research" is in actuality something more along the lines of MK Ultra (a state recognized program by the CIA that attempts to achieve total mind control through drugs, primarily LSD, and electronic signals). It goes on over a period of some time. Over time, Cho's behavior becomes increasingly erratic, but any protest about the "research" is stifled by intimidation on behalf of the government. The "research" performed on Cho damages him severely. However, Cho gets into Virginia Tech.


Cho is permanently mentally scarred, and traumatized. However, he is not totally cognizant of the research that has been performed, he knows something is not right. Memories of his torture come to him vaguely, but he is beyond repair now. He goes to his parents, nothing. He is convinced no one will help him, that everyone schemes against him. He writes plays with themes of a malicious third party.

He snaps on April 16, but not before releasing the video; referring to "researchers" when he says "You spilled my blood", speaking to some distant transgressor when he asks, "Have you any idea what it feels like to be humiliated?!"


Alternate Theory
The CIA has full control of Cho by the time he is released.
They need him to shoot up a school in order to further restrict weapons in the hands of the American public. Who wants an armed resistance???

Cho gets a call from the researchers early Monday morning...



I am not saying that what you just read is true, or is The Truth.
But.... I am saying openly and publicly that what we are being told does not add up.

A monster? Maybe.

But who made the monster?
Who helped the monster?
Who worked with the monster?
And..... who stands to gain from this terrible tragedy?




The homie Planet Lucid dropped this jewel:

everyone -

Please read this article
http://dreamsend.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/cho-seung-hui-and-the-not-so-secret-school/#comment-1276
apparently there was another shooter from the SAME highschool last year.




if this is him...why is he in a marine uniform?
(lower right pocket reads 'Hu' rather than 'Hui')


apparently Fairfax County Virginia has aLOT of military/defense influence and recruiters..as did columbine.
....this may explain why Cho's sister works for the state dept. in Iraq
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/articles/2007/04/19/1176696983487.html?from=top5






The sister of the gunman responsible for the deadliest shooting rampage in modern US history works as a contractor for a State Department office that oversees billions of dollars in American aid for Iraq.

Sun-kyung Cho is employed by the Iraq Reconstruction Management Office, according to US officials and a State Department staff directory that says she works from an annex near the department's headquarters in Washington.

Messages left on her office voicemail, in which she identifies herself as "Sun Cho", were not immediately returned today.

The Virginia Tech gunman was her brother, Cho Seung-hui. Thirty-three people died in the rampage on Monday, including the 23-year-old student, who committed suicide.

Spokesman Sean McCormack would not discuss Sun Cho's status but told reporters, "This person is not a direct-hire employee of the State Department."

He refused further comment, citing privacy concerns. Other US officials confirmed she worked for a contractor.

The office was set up by President George W Bush to coordinate the reconstruction program in Iraq and offers jobs to "highly skilled and motivated United States citizens" to work at the US embassy in Baghdad, Iraq, according to State Department documents. The office also has several Washington-based positions.

"Our mission is to support the sovereign, democratic rights of the Iraqi people to govern themselves, defend their country and rebuild their economy," the office says in its recruiting brochure. "This ongoing mission is one that is unprecedented in size and scope."

Sun Cho's current job is her third stint with the State Department, according to Princeton University, where she graduated with an economics major in 2004.

She previously worked as a summer intern at the department's International Labour Office and held a three-month economics internship in the northern summer before her senior year at the US embassy in Bangkok, sponsored by Princeton's International Internship Program.

"They were the most amazing three months of my life," Sun Cho told the university's weekly bulletin in November 24, 2003, article about the program, describing her experiences in the Thai capital.

"I found that the best way to get to know the city was taking the skytrain to random locations and walking around for a couple of hours," it quoted her as saying.

"I think it is always easy for Americans to maintain an American way of life abroad. The best thing is to avoid these traps and go out there and immerse yourself in a new culture."

The article described a visit to a border town where she saw deplorable working conditions for Burmese migrant workers.

"She said the experience was so profound that after returning to campus, she changed the focus of her senior thesis to a more labour-related topic," the article said.
 

what is the NRO and how close is it to Westfield High?
http://www.dcdave.com/article2/092698.htm

The Tina Ricca Murder
by Bonnie Hobbs
Excerpted from the CentreView (Centreville, Va.) 8/11/94

Right from the start, said John Ricca, the investigation into his daughter's Nov. 6 murder at he construction site of the Rockwell International building in Westfields was "shrouded in secrecy."

He received little information about how she died and nine months after her murder the police have still not found her killer.

Now, says Ricca, it all makes sense.

It was revealed this week that the Rockwell site where his daughter Tina worked as a security guard was actually a front for the headquarters of the super-secret National Reconnaissance Office (NRO). The CIA and the Defense

Department jointly oversee the NRO-which manages America's spy satellites-and its existence was kept top secret until two years ago.

On Monday, President Clinton declassified the NRO headquarters' existence, after many senators complained no one had told them of the project' s magnitude and cost. The Senate Select Committee on Intelligence was upset to discover the building was estimated to cost $350 million-nearly twice what they'd been told it would.

Ricca has little sympathy for them, saying they "only lost money-I lost a daughter."

Fairfax County Police Lt. Dennis Wilson with the homicide squad said Ricca's body was found in a temporary construction trailer not part of the NRO complex. He said police didn't know then that the complex was anything but a Rockwell facility, but said that fact has no bearing on the investigation.

But to Ricca, of Falls Church, it does have bearing, and "makes it even more believable why things have gone the way they have. It's making more sense by the minute why I haven't gotten any information."

Tina Ricca, 27, was employed as a security guard by Vance International of Oakton and had worked at the Rockwell site on Chantilly's Lee Road almost two years. She'd just been offered a job by Rockwell in Australia and was looking forward to beginning it.

She'd already finished her own eight-hour shift and was filling in for a co-worker away on National Guard duty when her life was ended by a bullet to the upper part of her body.

Police decline to reveal the type or caliber of weapon used or specify exactly where she was shot. But she wasn't wearing the bullet proof vest she usually wore, and both her gun and radio were missing.

Police have not ascribed a motive for her murder, but the ClA's involvement in the building, Ricca said, brings possible scenarios to mind. Perhaps, he said, his daughter saw something she shouldn't have. It also might explain, he said, why there was an approximately 2 1/2-hour gap between the time she was shot and the time Vance reported it.

"It gave the CIA plenty of time to destroy whatever evidence there was before the police got on the scene," said Ricca.

CIA spokeswoman Suzanne Wheeler Klein said Wednesday, "We don't have any information and don't have any comment on it."

There's also a question whether the FBI was involved in the murder investigation. Although FBI officials have denied they're a part of it, Ricca said he understands the FBI was on the scene before the police and later questioned some possible suspects. After the murder, he said, both the police and Vance had difficulty getting into the site.

If you've got the CIA and a real top-secret thing like the NRO," he said, "why in the world did they have one guard out there? There was only one guard on duty besides her, and there was supposed to be four. They should have had more." He also plans to contact the Senate, Congress and President Clinton, but doubts if, ultimately it'll get him anywhere.

Ricca said "If [the CIA] doesn't want Congress and the Ways and Means Committee to know what happened," he said, "they're surely not going to tell me-especially if they're involved in it."

Although police are saying the slain guard's body was found in a construction trailer, Ricca said they told him she was actually found in a blue, modular building. If she was in the trailer, he said, the other guard would have been with her.

He also said the room she was in had working computers in it, and he believes, "at the very minimum, those computers contained the drawings of the building, and that was top secret." Yet, he said, police told him when the FBI let them in, there was nothing on the computers.

To get through each day, he focuses on his job (ironically, he's a general manager for a construction company that's a prime contractor to the federal government), his wife and his children. (end of article)
---------
The murder is still unsolved, and the Post is yet to write a word about it.
The building complex, by the way, has a quite high, secure fence around it. It
would not have been easy for an intruder to make it in over the fence.
David Martin, September 26, 1998 



(hours before the shooting took place)
http://cdn-69.liveleak.com/liveleak/8/media8/2007/Apr/16/LiveLeak-dot-com-43042-myspace.jpg

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

If Don Imus was a rapper, he'd be multi-platinum and win a Grammy

They all disrespect Black Women.

All this outrage over somebody most people have never heard of.

Meanwhile, this weekend, those same "outraged" will be nodding their heads to music from artists who disrespect Black Women far more consistently and viciously.

Don Imus is irrelevant.

Kids quote 50 and Snoop at school.

Instead of wasting time on irrelevant shock jock, black leaders need to be fighting a growing gangster culture.

By JASON WHITLOCK - Columnist

Thank you, Don Imus. You've given us (black people) an excuse to avoid our real problem.

You've given Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson another opportunity to pretend that the old fight, which is now the safe and lucrative fight, is still the most important fight in our push for true economic and social equality.

You've given Vivian Stringer and Rutgers the chance to hold a nationally televised recruiting celebration expertly disguised as a news conference to respond to your poor attempt at humor.

Thank you, Don Imus. You extended Black History Month to April, and we can once again wallow in victimhood, protest like it's 1965 and delude ourselves into believing that fixing your hatred is more necessary than eradicating our self-hatred.

The bigots win again.

While we're fixated on a bad joke cracked by an irrelevant, bad shock jock, I'm sure at least one of the marvelous young women on the Rutgers basketball team is somewhere snapping her fingers to the beat of 50 Cent's or Snoop Dogg's or Young Jeezy's latest ode glorifying nappy-headed pimps and hos.

I ain't saying Jesse, Al and Vivian are gold-diggas, but they don't have the heart to mount a legitimate campaign against the real black-folk killas.

It is us. At this time, we are our own worst enemies. We have allowed our youths to buy into a culture (hip hop) that has been perverted, corrupted and overtaken by prison culture. The music, attitude and behavior expressed in this culture is anti-black, anti-education, demeaning, self-destructive, pro-drug dealing and violent.

Rather than confront this heinous enemy from within, we sit back and wait for someone like Imus to have a slip of the tongue and make the mistake of repeating the things we say about ourselves.

It's embarrassing. Dave Chappelle was offered $50 million to make racially insensitive jokes about black and white people on TV. He was hailed as a genius. Black comedians routinely crack jokes about white and black people, and we all laugh out loud.

I'm no Don Imus apologist. He and his tiny companion Mike Lupica blasted me after I fell out with ESPN. Imus is a hack.

But, in my view, he didn't do anything outside the norm for shock jocks and comedians. He also offered an apology. That should've been the end of this whole affair. Instead, it's only the beginning. It's an opportunity for Stringer, Jackson and Sharpton to step on victim platforms and elevate themselves and their agenda$.

I watched the Rutgers news conference and was ashamed.

Martin Luther King Jr. spoke for eight minutes in 1963 at the March on Washington. At the time, black people could be lynched and denied fundamental rights with little thought. With the comments of a talk-show host most of her players had never heard of before last week serving as her excuse, Vivian Stringer rambled on for 30 minutes about the amazing season her team had.

Somehow, we're supposed to believe that the comments of a man with virtually no connection to the sports world ruined Rutgers' wonderful season. Had a broadcaster with credibility and a platform in the sports world uttered the words Imus did, I could understand a level of outrage.

But an hourlong press conference over a man who has already apologized, already been suspended and is already insignificant is just plain intellectually dishonest. This is opportunism. This is a distraction.

In the grand scheme, Don Imus is no threat to us in general and no threat to black women in particular. If his words are so powerful and so destructive and must be rebuked so forcefully, then what should we do about the idiot rappers on BET, MTV and every black-owned radio station in the country who use words much more powerful and much more destructive?

I don't listen or watch Imus' show regularly. Has he at any point glorified selling crack cocaine to black women? Has he celebrated black men shooting each other randomly? Has he suggested in any way that it's cool to be a baby-daddy rather than a husband and a parent? Does he tell his listeners that they're suckers for pursuing education and that they're selling out their race if they do?

When Imus does any of that, call me and I'll get upset. Until then, he is what he is — a washed-up shock jock who is very easy to ignore when you're not looking to be made a victim.

No. We all know where the real battleground is. We know that the gangsta rappers and their followers in the athletic world have far bigger platforms to negatively define us than some old white man with a bad radio show. There's no money and lots of danger in that battle, so Jesse and Al are going to sit it out.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Black People SUCK

Please watch.




There are so many things wrong with this video.

1- FAT dude punches skinny dude (with all of his fat fury), skinny dude continues to rap. FAT dude needs to kill himself.
2- FAT (Samoan?) dude drops "nigga" at least 6 times, both en rap, and in his "I can't punch" frustration.
3- Black people did nothing.

Black people suck these days. Period.

Bill Cosby is right.
Spike Lee is right.
Will Smith is right.
I am right.

First off, I don't let BLACK people call me nigga/nigger/ni99a, whatever. Ever. I probably would not lay hands on you, but I will say something to make you wish I had just hit you.

I will never in the history of my life be in some public place on camera when one of my (Hawaiian?) homeboys decides to be an honorary nigger.

This is no isolated incident. To those OUTSIDE of the African-American community, being called a "nigga" is the greatest badge of honor they can wear.

"Oh, Robin Thick, you ain't a whiteboy! You be one of us! You a nigga too!"
Am I exaggerating? Google: nigga Robin Thicke and tell me what you come back with...

Yes, I am going somewhere with this... hold tight.

I made a comment in JLa's blog the other day. Some white dude called her his "nizzle" and I responded that she needed to train her white people better.

The truth is, you have to train everybody. Whatever your values are, your cultural values, you have to train people as to what's okay and what's not.

You want your employees to show up to work on time?
You have to make that expectation clear from jump. (trust me)

Fellas, like going out on dates but hate paying all the time?
Well, you can either complain about it in your blog, or be upfront, "Ya know baby, this is how I feel......."

Women, are you being okay called a bitch or a ho?
Some women are. Many women are.

Those who are not make it clear anytime the line is crossed, anytime the line is approached or looked at. She doesn't play that.

That's what happens when you have VALUES.

But.... as a whole, Black people do not. Our values are:
"Don't Be A Hater" (in this danceree)
"Stop Snitching"
"All About My Money"
and
"I Don't Give a Fuck"

As of April 2nd, there have been over 100 murders in the city of Philadelphia in 2007. Please believe that 95 percent of those killed are Black.

We got kids shooting and killing kids, terrorizing communities, selling and using drugs, and yet STOP SNITCHIN is still the neighborhood law.

We got a cultural hijacking of this thing formerly known as Hip-Hop, it is being used to sell to us what we created, pre-packaging our culturalisms so that suburban kids can fulfill their lifelong dreams of kickin' it with the homies and getting street cred from mah niggas.

If you have no values, you have no worth.
Period.

If you have no values, you have no worth.
If you have no worth, it's got to be difficult to imagine anybody else's life having worth or meaning either.

Which makes it incredibly easy to waste your life....

or to take another's.


People say it's about jobs, or education, opportunities, but they are deadededed wrong.

It's about values.
It's about worth.

And until we campaign and message about our values as a community, not a thing will improve.

So long as it's perfectly normal for a Black boy or a Black girl to grow up without a father, nothing will get better.

So long as it's competely "natural" for a Black boy to be MURDERED by another Black boy and there is no tangible sense of outrage and intolerance, understand that it will continue... it's not even the summer yet.

And..... so long as these retarded crack baby offspring continue to have babies of their own..... things.... will.... get.... much..... worse.


Train your people.
Train every one of them.
Start today.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I Am In LOVE!

Very rarely these days do I write about happy things.

It's always the white man this, the gubment this, retarded crack baby rapper this, etc.

And I realize this. I realize that, as readers, it's got to be a bit of a burden to open my blog and get HIT with the wave after wave of fury that I often unleash.
So today....... good news I say.

I would like to take this moment to publicly state that I am in love.

I am happy.
I am satisfied and content and joy filled.
The Brotha is in LOVE people!


The source for my happiness, my newfound joy, the unending fount of love that flows from within me... is none other than Jack In The Box Restaurants, Inc.




For Jack, dear Jack, he has connected me with my one true love.

The Andes Mint Shake.


Vanilla ice cream
Mint
Andes candy chunks
Whipped cream
And a cherry.


There was a time when I was eating properly.
I would spend hours upon hours per night in the gym.
Getting stronger. Faster.
Those days are over.


The Andes Mint Shake from Jack In The Box is that damn good.

So ladies.... I'm still available. Just know that I am on a path to become the male equivalent of a BBW (a BBM?). Be aware that I am having one of these milkshakes everyday without exception until they no longer sell them.

Then I will quit my job, get a job at Jack In The Box, work my way up to Assistant Manager, then Manager, THEN possibly District or Regional Manager.

At this point I'll be in a position of trust, I'll be visiting the corporate offices on a quarterly basis. I'll be the token Black guy. "He speaks so well!"

The Barack Osama of JITB.

At this point I'll be allowed to come and go with less restriction.

And then.... then my friends.... I will hack into the corporate database, find the recipe for the Andes Mint Shake, commit it to memory, pull the fire alarm and then RUN LIKE HELL never to be heard from again.

It's that damn good.

Have one today.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

When Injured: A Guide To Getting What You Want

As often happens, I have a lot to say, and this is one of the few times that I will allow myself to take as many words to say it as I need. The last week for me have been interesting, to say the very least. Now that things are at their end (or beginning) I've taken some time to reflect upon what I have learned.


There are two types of people in this world.

There are "God" people and "shit" people.
Some of you I may have shared this with before.

Some people, when frightened, scared, hurt, mad, sad... some people call upon God. The Creator, The Sustainer. The Giver and Taker of Life.

Some people call upon shit.

Example... During the infamous 9/11 videotapes from NYC, witnesses can be heard shouting:

"Oh my God!"
or
"Holy shit!"

And whether you like it or not, you can judge, measure, predict a person based upon this very test. It's 100 percent accurate.
I learned a long time ago that I am a "God" person and I remain thankful for this.

Even better among the "God" people are those who are Conscious of God. Beyond the reflex action, the calling out in terror. Those who bring God to mind and remain humble and thankful, even when things don't go their way. Those who do not lose their Self in moments of panic, terror or fear.

More on this later.

I hate Valentine's Day. It's official. I have had two rotten ones in a row. But this isn't the point.

Just like there are the God people and the shit people, you can measure an individual by another test.

When Injured.


ANYBODY can be nice and sweet and kind and humble and say nice things when things are going well. When you're on top of the world, when nothing can top you or stop you, it's very easy to behave.

"How you doing today, Brotha?"
"Man, I'm Blessed, I'm Blessed."

What happens when things don't go your way?
What happens when you get your feelings hurt?
What happens when somebody lets you down?
What happens when somebody disrespects you?
What happens when you hit traffic and you're already late to work?
What happens when you don't get what you want?

Still Blessed?

I remember... and only one person living knows about this.... I remember sitting in a car, after stopping at not one but two florists to make sure I had the perfect bouquets of flowers. I drove and drove for miles and miles to meet this girl for dinner. I had taken off work early (and if you know me, you know that's incredible on its own) and I had visions of everything just going perfectly.

I called when I got into town, but she didn't answer. No problem, I got music.
One CD turned into another.
An hour turned into two hours. Calling, paging, texting..... nothing.

When you don't know what's going on, it gets complicated leaving voicemails again and again and again, cuz what you want to say is, "Look, dammit! I've been waiting for you for 3 goddamned hours and you better pick up your phone and tell me something!"

But you can't do that.... because then she'll call back and say, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, my grandmother came to visit and she collapsed and I had to give her the Heimlich maneuver and CPR and the CLEAR! thing, she's in the hospital, she's okay now, but in all the confusion I guess I left my cell phone on the table. Did you leave me a message?"

And then you're the worst person that God ever Created.

But after waiting for 3 hours, and having every scenario played out in my head, I came to the conclusion that this girl was either the biggest flake in the world, or that something was seriously wrong.

What surprised me was the voice in my head...

"Which would you prefer?"

Scary question when you think about it.

If she's okay.... that means you're the biggest retard on Earth. You're here, and she's not thinking about you. Even worse, she doesn't even respect you enough to tell you she's changed her mind.

If she's not okay, if something bad has happened... How can you justify all of the negative thoughts going through your head? How you planned to tell her about herself, to make her realized that she was going to regret this night for the rest of her life.... You already have the words picked out don't you?

So which do you want?
You want her to be hurt, but that means everything is still all good between you two...?
Or... she's fine, and you're the biggest loser ever.

I sat and I squirmed and I stalled and I screamed.
But finally I admitted... I'd prefer for her to be okay.
Even though it represented the end of "us"
I want her to be okay, inconsiderate but healthy.

Of course, after a long drive home, and calling a few hospitals, I got the next message... "My bad, I didn't hear my phone" or something like that.
Both an incredible relief and massive disappointment.

And about the only positive thing I could take after asking God, "Lord, why did this happen to me?" was that I had learned more about myself, and I was really pleased with myself for staying me.


In the last week, I have terminated a job and a relationship. Both were supposed to help Get me What I Want. Neither was.

I am today, 6 days from turning 30. At 25 I was nervous. 26, 27, anxious.... But something happened to me along the way.

I have never been more optimistic.
I expect to Get What I Want.

I expect success. I expect good things, and I believe that I am deserving ENTITLED to the very best.
I have lost friends and lost jobs and lost loves.... but I have never been closer to having everything that I have ever wanted than I am right now this very second.

The only thing standing in the way.... is me.
I have to make some changes.
I have to make some tough decisions.



But I am worth it.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Why I don't read your blog

You blog too much.
And I can't keep up.
I'm not your typical perfectionist, not at all, but I am a perfectionist nonetheless.
I can't stand feeling behind in anything.
Logging onto the Myspace and seeing 2, 3, sometimes 4 unread blogs from the same person is tiring.
It makes me feel defeated. Unaccomplished. Like I'm behind in something...
I feel like I have unfinished work when I see a long, long line of

NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
NEW!NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
NEW!
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Or... perhaps you blog less frequently. Perhaps you merely blog about nothing.
Not that I will place an inherent value on your blogs.
But still. Some people should keep a journal. Not all poetry is good poetry.
Not all of your thoughts are 'deep'
Not all of your issues are meaningful.

I write this with a smile. I subscribe to less because I can keep up with fewer.
If you got a conversation of value going on, by all means let me know.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Who's The MASTER?????

Now.... some people would say that the only reason I am blogging now is because Jamese did. Some people might think that for some reason, the fact that she beat me to the First Blog of 2007 would in some way, somehow, make me have to get up on my blog game.

Some people would go as far as to say that because of this, I would go as far as to post a blog about nothing, just to stay in the game. I mean, literally, sitting at work, with my inbox overflowing with tasks awaiting, emails to return, voicemails to listen to, interviews to schedule.... yet for some reason these "people" think that I would have some need to "Blog" just cause she did.

I'm too dang predictable.

I really, truly have had a blog in mind but have not had the presence of mind to follow through on it. It's a can of worms. It will cause controversy, trauma, and grief. Even if within my small Myspace community.

But I'm not going there today. Can't go there today.
I got an interviewee walking in in 5 minutes.

So instead, I blog about nothing.
Which reminds me of Seinfeld.
Which reminds me of Kramer.
Which reminds me of Isaiah Washington.
Which reminds me that it's one million times worse to insult a faggot than a nigger.
Which reminds me of why I never released the podcast I did last year.

Anyways.... today is the first day of the Master Cleanse for me. This will be my second time doing it. Last time I did 12 days, and this time I'm going for 21.

There are no surprises this time. I know that the only things I will be battling are my desires. Last time... damn KFC commercials starting playing tricks with my mind and I swore that nothing in life would make me happier than eating about eleventy of their mashed potato, gravy, cheesey chicken bowls.

What's different now?

First- I don't watch TV. None. So all those darn commercials are going to miss me.

Second- My work day starts at 9am and ends around 10pm. To quote my personal hero, Mr T...


"I ain't got time for no jibba jabba!"

Third, and most exciting is the fact that I have company on this fast. You know her as the co-host of Gamers. The star of such films as Kickitathon '06 and Panic at the Roller Rink.

She represents for the EAT SIDE.

JLA is doing it with me.

She thinks she's only doing a week,
but I sense a 14 day adventure at least.