Kindred.

I don't do a lot of R.I.Ps

But... R.I.P. to Octavia Butler. You changed my life.

My expectations from fiction.

You denied your genius, but we can not.

Y'all who don't know.... we have truly lost a "great" woman.

And I know and accept that God is in charge of Life
and Death

But still...

Change

That which you cannot change with your hands, change with your voice.
That which you cannot change with your voice, change with your heart.

This week.

I don't think I have EVER been more glad to see a week end.

I'm not a Valentine's Day fan, everyone either knows or can guess that... But when Valentine's Day 2006 is the day that you experience a major break-up... Ugh, it sucks.
A day that I put effort into carrying no emotional significance, now will have an asterisk next to it.

Umm.... How can you break up with somebody that you are not even with?

A great question, but one I am not even going to pretend to have the energy or will to try to begin to explain.

So this week has been a struggle. I would have preferred to lie in bed...

That's not the reality of my life.

So I have had to force myself to remain The Rock upon whom many lean.

But even I get tired. And even sick. Sometimes sick and tired (because I am Black.)

So, Thursday night, when my week FINALLY ended. I just sat...


One thing about feeling like this, there are benefits.

I have been inspired to write and write and write...

So yeah, I feel as though I have lost my best friend.
Because I have.

Bad things happen to people when I get bored.

So....
I told this story to a few people. I figured I may as well share it here.
I hopped on AOL, just... because. This young young girl (maybe 16 or 17) sent me an Instant Message, and we chatted just long enough for me to hit her with a quick dose of self-esteem.
Sometimes... I'm nice.

About 10 minutes later... I'm contacted by a second party.
What follows is the definition of Ownage (Pwnage):

Vicious 240SX [12:31 A.M.]:  yo 
Vicious 240SX [12:31 A.M.]:  u punk sum of biach..stay away..
 POETicSlamIsBACK [12:31 A.M.]:  thank you  
Vicious 240SX [12:31 A.M.]:  alrite good.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:31 A.M.]:  don't be randomly sending shit.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:31 A.M.]:  and who da fok r u???? 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:31 A.M.]:  Your father  
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  dats classic.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:32 A.M.]:  Didn't your mother tell you?  
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  look whom eva u r..just be easy.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  stay away from Nece1989.... 
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  good.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:32 A.M.]:  lol  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:32 A.M.]:  Hey... she gave me her number  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:32 A.M.]:  I didn't ask for it 
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  yeah yeah yeah.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  wut eva..homie 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:33 A.M.]:  Is that all, sir?  
Vicious 240SX [12:34 A.M.]:  just be easy..and take ur stalker ass sumwhere else.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:34 A.M.]:  hmmmm  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  I'm a stalker... 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  Yet... YOU are sending me IMs  
Vicious 240SX [12:35 A.M.]:  yeah cause ur a cock sucker.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  Admit it... you got the hots for me, huh?  
Vicious 240SX [12:35 A.M.]:  and can't get nun
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  Did she send you my shirtless pics or something? 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  You got a lil stirring in the groin? 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  Wanted to take a chance... see if I'd holla  
Vicious 240SX [12:36 A.M.]:  haha... 
Vicious 240SX [12:37 A.M.]:  she do got a nice body tho' 2 bad u can't get nun of it.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:37 A.M.]:  Is it tight for real?  
Vicious 240SX [12:38 A.M.]:  y u want her 4...answer me dis?? 
Vicious 240SX [12:38 A.M.]:  mad other gurls out in cali..and out of all of dem..u want her.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:38 A.M.]:  Hey... she hollered at me  
Vicious 240SX [12:39 A.M.]:  word... 
Vicious 240SX [12:39 A.M.]:  alrite cuz.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:39 A.M.]:  You need to control your woman a bit better  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:39 A.M.]:  Now I for SURE am gonna call her  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:39 A.M.]:  Now that I know she is that tight  
Vicious 240SX [12:40 A.M.]:  man...if u want go ahead and get it..try ur lucky... 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:40 A.M.]:  Thanks man  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:40 A.M.]:  I appreciate the pep talk 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:40 A.M.]:  Maybe you can get her back when I'm done with her?  
Vicious 240SX [12:41 A.M.]:  go ahead.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:41 A.M.]:  by all means..try u luck homie.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:41 A.M.]:  i'm sure u get it.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:41 A.M.]:  It's not luck  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:41 A.M.]:  It's "game" young buck  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:41 A.M.]:  And if you had ANY, you would be talking to her instead of me  
Vicious 240SX [12:41 A.M.]:  not even luck ur skillz r soo good..man...aw man..i'm sorry i even went at u cuz.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:41 A.M.]:  i'm sure...u can get it b4 i do.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:41 A.M.]:  I forgive you  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  Wait  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  You ain't even HAD it yet????  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFL  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  LMAOOOOO  
Vicious 240SX [12:42 A.M.]:  nah cuz..i couldn't get it.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  Just so you know, I am putting this ENTIRE conversation online, son  
Vicious 240SX [12:42 A.M.]:  yeah man... 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  THOUSANDS of people will read this by tomorrow 
Vicious 240SX [12:42 A.M.]:  u need 2..matta a fact.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:42 A.M.]:  post it all ova.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:43 A.M.]:  So I hope you don't plan to keep this AOL Identity 
Vicious 240SX [12:43 A.M.]:  of course..i will..cause u know wut.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:43 A.M.]:  da longer u talk 2 me.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:43 A.M.]:  da more info i'm getting on ur ass. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:44 A.M.]:  The.... sadder you get?  
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  i luv ur IP address. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:44 A.M.]:  smh  
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  u know dat u can track down sumwun by there IP address 
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  2 der exact location. 
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  ah man..its of da chain cuz.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  see wut happens da longer u talk 2 me.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  da closer i get 2 meet u.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:44 A.M.]:  Tell you what....  
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  and den we i do meet u..and slit ya thoat.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:44 A.M.]:  Just so YOU know  
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  i'll make sure..ppl see me post it online.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:45 A.M.]:  but u know wut..go ahead.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:45 A.M.]:  I'm a fairly talented hacker in my own right  
Vicious 240SX [12:45 A.M.]:  go after it.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:45 A.M.]:  its very tempting isn't it 
Vicious 240SX [12:45 A.M.]:  very good  4 u.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:45 A.M.]:  i'm glad u r.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:45 A.M.]:  So... threats are useless  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:45 A.M.]:  We'll see who gets more info on who soonest 
 Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  of course..good sir.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  tata..nitey nitey..yung blood.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:46 A.M.]:  As I don't have a static IP, I'm sure you already know not to trust the readings you get the first few times I log in  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:46 A.M.]:  Good night Chris  
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  and by da way..i can't wait 2 meet u in person.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  of course..oh no 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  u found my nam 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  ee 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  aww man.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  u r sooo good.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  oh shoot..i have 2 have 2 change my name 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:47 A.M.]:  You can lol all you wish, Chris  
Vicious 240SX [12:47 A.M.]:  n e way..i gues i should go in2 hidin' cause i was ashamed by ur skillz.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:47 A.M.]:  awww... 
Vicious 240SX [12:47 A.M.]:  u did it again.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:47 A.M.]:  I know have all I need to know, Chris  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:48 A.M.]:  Uh oh...... A little shook up?  
Vicious 240SX [12:48 A.M.]:  yeah ... i'm sooo scared 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:48 A.M.]:  Afraid mom will beat your ass once she finds out that a stranger has access to her personal information?  
Vicious 240SX [12:48 A.M.]:  oh no.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:48 A.M.]:  my personal info.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:49 A.M.]:  tata.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:49 A.M.]:  You do live in Highland, correct?  
Vicious 240SX [12:49 A.M.]:  how did u know 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:50 A.M.]:  I told you son  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:50 A.M.]:  I'm fairly skilled  
Vicious 240SX [12:50 A.M.]:  yeah u r.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:50 A.M.]:  soo skilled..dat u know my name 
Vicious 240SX [12:50 A.M.]:  and where i live 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:50 A.M.]:  Your information is not as private as you think  
Vicious 240SX [12:50 A.M.]:  apparently not 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:50 A.M.]:  Your method of payment... now mine  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:51 A.M.]:  Your location  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:51 A.M.]:  Your IP, which IS static...  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:51 A.M.]:  hmmmm  
Vicious 240SX [12:51 A.M.]:  oh god..plz help 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:51 A.M.]:  Now I can send you a virus at ANY time  
Vicious 240SX [12:51 A.M.]:  u know..ur soo foolish its unbelievable.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:51 A.M.]:  ur a time waster. 
Vicious 240SX [12:51 A.M.]:  get out my face homie
Vicious 240SX [12:52 A.M.]:  good bye and i'll make sure i'll see u 
Vicious 240SX [12:52 A.M.]:  in da san b. area wen i come visit u 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:52 A.M.]:  I live about 450 miles north of there, Chris  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:52 A.M.]:  But nice try 
Vicious 240SX signed off at 12:52 A.M.