Bad things happen to people when I get bored.

So....
I told this story to a few people. I figured I may as well share it here.
I hopped on AOL, just... because. This young young girl (maybe 16 or 17) sent me an Instant Message, and we chatted just long enough for me to hit her with a quick dose of self-esteem.
Sometimes... I'm nice.

About 10 minutes later... I'm contacted by a second party.
What follows is the definition of Ownage (Pwnage):

Vicious 240SX [12:31 A.M.]:  yo 
Vicious 240SX [12:31 A.M.]:  u punk sum of biach..stay away..
 POETicSlamIsBACK [12:31 A.M.]:  thank you  
Vicious 240SX [12:31 A.M.]:  alrite good.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:31 A.M.]:  don't be randomly sending shit.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:31 A.M.]:  and who da fok r u???? 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:31 A.M.]:  Your father  
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  dats classic.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:32 A.M.]:  Didn't your mother tell you?  
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  look whom eva u r..just be easy.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  stay away from Nece1989.... 
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  good.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:32 A.M.]:  lol  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:32 A.M.]:  Hey... she gave me her number  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:32 A.M.]:  I didn't ask for it 
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  yeah yeah yeah.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:32 A.M.]:  wut eva..homie 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:33 A.M.]:  Is that all, sir?  
Vicious 240SX [12:34 A.M.]:  just be easy..and take ur stalker ass sumwhere else.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:34 A.M.]:  hmmmm  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  I'm a stalker... 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  Yet... YOU are sending me IMs  
Vicious 240SX [12:35 A.M.]:  yeah cause ur a cock sucker.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  Admit it... you got the hots for me, huh?  
Vicious 240SX [12:35 A.M.]:  and can't get nun
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  Did she send you my shirtless pics or something? 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  You got a lil stirring in the groin? 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:35 A.M.]:  Wanted to take a chance... see if I'd holla  
Vicious 240SX [12:36 A.M.]:  haha... 
Vicious 240SX [12:37 A.M.]:  she do got a nice body tho' 2 bad u can't get nun of it.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:37 A.M.]:  Is it tight for real?  
Vicious 240SX [12:38 A.M.]:  y u want her 4...answer me dis?? 
Vicious 240SX [12:38 A.M.]:  mad other gurls out in cali..and out of all of dem..u want her.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:38 A.M.]:  Hey... she hollered at me  
Vicious 240SX [12:39 A.M.]:  word... 
Vicious 240SX [12:39 A.M.]:  alrite cuz.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:39 A.M.]:  You need to control your woman a bit better  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:39 A.M.]:  Now I for SURE am gonna call her  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:39 A.M.]:  Now that I know she is that tight  
Vicious 240SX [12:40 A.M.]:  man...if u want go ahead and get it..try ur lucky... 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:40 A.M.]:  Thanks man  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:40 A.M.]:  I appreciate the pep talk 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:40 A.M.]:  Maybe you can get her back when I'm done with her?  
Vicious 240SX [12:41 A.M.]:  go ahead.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:41 A.M.]:  by all means..try u luck homie.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:41 A.M.]:  i'm sure u get it.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:41 A.M.]:  It's not luck  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:41 A.M.]:  It's "game" young buck  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:41 A.M.]:  And if you had ANY, you would be talking to her instead of me  
Vicious 240SX [12:41 A.M.]:  not even luck ur skillz r soo good..man...aw man..i'm sorry i even went at u cuz.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:41 A.M.]:  i'm sure...u can get it b4 i do.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:41 A.M.]:  I forgive you  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  Wait  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  You ain't even HAD it yet????  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFL  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  LMAOOOOO  
Vicious 240SX [12:42 A.M.]:  nah cuz..i couldn't get it.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  Just so you know, I am putting this ENTIRE conversation online, son  
Vicious 240SX [12:42 A.M.]:  yeah man... 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:42 A.M.]:  THOUSANDS of people will read this by tomorrow 
Vicious 240SX [12:42 A.M.]:  u need 2..matta a fact.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:42 A.M.]:  post it all ova.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:43 A.M.]:  So I hope you don't plan to keep this AOL Identity 
Vicious 240SX [12:43 A.M.]:  of course..i will..cause u know wut.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:43 A.M.]:  da longer u talk 2 me.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:43 A.M.]:  da more info i'm getting on ur ass. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:44 A.M.]:  The.... sadder you get?  
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  i luv ur IP address. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:44 A.M.]:  smh  
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  u know dat u can track down sumwun by there IP address 
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  2 der exact location. 
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  ah man..its of da chain cuz.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  see wut happens da longer u talk 2 me.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  da closer i get 2 meet u.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:44 A.M.]:  Tell you what....  
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  and den we i do meet u..and slit ya thoat.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:44 A.M.]:  Just so YOU know  
Vicious 240SX [12:44 A.M.]:  i'll make sure..ppl see me post it online.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:45 A.M.]:  but u know wut..go ahead.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:45 A.M.]:  I'm a fairly talented hacker in my own right  
Vicious 240SX [12:45 A.M.]:  go after it.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:45 A.M.]:  its very tempting isn't it 
Vicious 240SX [12:45 A.M.]:  very good  4 u.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:45 A.M.]:  i'm glad u r.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:45 A.M.]:  So... threats are useless  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:45 A.M.]:  We'll see who gets more info on who soonest 
 Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  of course..good sir.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  tata..nitey nitey..yung blood.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:46 A.M.]:  As I don't have a static IP, I'm sure you already know not to trust the readings you get the first few times I log in  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:46 A.M.]:  Good night Chris  
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  and by da way..i can't wait 2 meet u in person.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  of course..oh no 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  u found my nam 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  ee 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  aww man.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  u r sooo good.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:46 A.M.]:  oh shoot..i have 2 have 2 change my name 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:47 A.M.]:  You can lol all you wish, Chris  
Vicious 240SX [12:47 A.M.]:  n e way..i gues i should go in2 hidin' cause i was ashamed by ur skillz.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:47 A.M.]:  awww... 
Vicious 240SX [12:47 A.M.]:  u did it again.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:47 A.M.]:  I know have all I need to know, Chris  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:48 A.M.]:  Uh oh...... A little shook up?  
Vicious 240SX [12:48 A.M.]:  yeah ... i'm sooo scared 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:48 A.M.]:  Afraid mom will beat your ass once she finds out that a stranger has access to her personal information?  
Vicious 240SX [12:48 A.M.]:  oh no.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:48 A.M.]:  my personal info.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:49 A.M.]:  tata.. 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:49 A.M.]:  You do live in Highland, correct?  
Vicious 240SX [12:49 A.M.]:  how did u know 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:50 A.M.]:  I told you son  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:50 A.M.]:  I'm fairly skilled  
Vicious 240SX [12:50 A.M.]:  yeah u r.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:50 A.M.]:  soo skilled..dat u know my name 
Vicious 240SX [12:50 A.M.]:  and where i live 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:50 A.M.]:  Your information is not as private as you think  
Vicious 240SX [12:50 A.M.]:  apparently not 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:50 A.M.]:  Your method of payment... now mine  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:51 A.M.]:  Your location  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:51 A.M.]:  Your IP, which IS static...  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:51 A.M.]:  hmmmm  
Vicious 240SX [12:51 A.M.]:  oh god..plz help 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:51 A.M.]:  Now I can send you a virus at ANY time  
Vicious 240SX [12:51 A.M.]:  u know..ur soo foolish its unbelievable.. 
Vicious 240SX [12:51 A.M.]:  ur a time waster. 
Vicious 240SX [12:51 A.M.]:  get out my face homie
Vicious 240SX [12:52 A.M.]:  good bye and i'll make sure i'll see u 
Vicious 240SX [12:52 A.M.]:  in da san b. area wen i come visit u 
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:52 A.M.]:  I live about 450 miles north of there, Chris  
POETicSlamIsBACK [12:52 A.M.]:  But nice try 
Vicious 240SX signed off at 12:52 A.M.