When Injured: A Guide To Getting What You Want

As often happens, I have a lot to say, and this is one of the few times that I will allow myself to take as many words to say it as I need. The last week for me have been interesting, to say the very least. Now that things are at their end (or beginning) I've taken some time to reflect upon what I have learned.


There are two types of people in this world.

There are "God" people and "shit" people.
Some of you I may have shared this with before.

Some people, when frightened, scared, hurt, mad, sad... some people call upon God. The Creator, The Sustainer. The Giver and Taker of Life.

Some people call upon shit.

Example... During the infamous 9/11 videotapes from NYC, witnesses can be heard shouting:

"Oh my God!"
or
"Holy shit!"

And whether you like it or not, you can judge, measure, predict a person based upon this very test. It's 100 percent accurate.
I learned a long time ago that I am a "God" person and I remain thankful for this.

Even better among the "God" people are those who are Conscious of God. Beyond the reflex action, the calling out in terror. Those who bring God to mind and remain humble and thankful, even when things don't go their way. Those who do not lose their Self in moments of panic, terror or fear.

More on this later.

I hate Valentine's Day. It's official. I have had two rotten ones in a row. But this isn't the point.

Just like there are the God people and the shit people, you can measure an individual by another test.

When Injured.


ANYBODY can be nice and sweet and kind and humble and say nice things when things are going well. When you're on top of the world, when nothing can top you or stop you, it's very easy to behave.

"How you doing today, Brotha?"
"Man, I'm Blessed, I'm Blessed."

What happens when things don't go your way?
What happens when you get your feelings hurt?
What happens when somebody lets you down?
What happens when somebody disrespects you?
What happens when you hit traffic and you're already late to work?
What happens when you don't get what you want?

Still Blessed?

I remember... and only one person living knows about this.... I remember sitting in a car, after stopping at not one but two florists to make sure I had the perfect bouquets of flowers. I drove and drove for miles and miles to meet this girl for dinner. I had taken off work early (and if you know me, you know that's incredible on its own) and I had visions of everything just going perfectly.

I called when I got into town, but she didn't answer. No problem, I got music.
One CD turned into another.
An hour turned into two hours. Calling, paging, texting..... nothing.

When you don't know what's going on, it gets complicated leaving voicemails again and again and again, cuz what you want to say is, "Look, dammit! I've been waiting for you for 3 goddamned hours and you better pick up your phone and tell me something!"

But you can't do that.... because then she'll call back and say, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, my grandmother came to visit and she collapsed and I had to give her the Heimlich maneuver and CPR and the CLEAR! thing, she's in the hospital, she's okay now, but in all the confusion I guess I left my cell phone on the table. Did you leave me a message?"

And then you're the worst person that God ever Created.

But after waiting for 3 hours, and having every scenario played out in my head, I came to the conclusion that this girl was either the biggest flake in the world, or that something was seriously wrong.

What surprised me was the voice in my head...

"Which would you prefer?"

Scary question when you think about it.

If she's okay.... that means you're the biggest retard on Earth. You're here, and she's not thinking about you. Even worse, she doesn't even respect you enough to tell you she's changed her mind.

If she's not okay, if something bad has happened... How can you justify all of the negative thoughts going through your head? How you planned to tell her about herself, to make her realized that she was going to regret this night for the rest of her life.... You already have the words picked out don't you?

So which do you want?
You want her to be hurt, but that means everything is still all good between you two...?
Or... she's fine, and you're the biggest loser ever.

I sat and I squirmed and I stalled and I screamed.
But finally I admitted... I'd prefer for her to be okay.
Even though it represented the end of "us"
I want her to be okay, inconsiderate but healthy.

Of course, after a long drive home, and calling a few hospitals, I got the next message... "My bad, I didn't hear my phone" or something like that.
Both an incredible relief and massive disappointment.

And about the only positive thing I could take after asking God, "Lord, why did this happen to me?" was that I had learned more about myself, and I was really pleased with myself for staying me.


In the last week, I have terminated a job and a relationship. Both were supposed to help Get me What I Want. Neither was.

I am today, 6 days from turning 30. At 25 I was nervous. 26, 27, anxious.... But something happened to me along the way.

I have never been more optimistic.
I expect to Get What I Want.

I expect success. I expect good things, and I believe that I am deserving ENTITLED to the very best.
I have lost friends and lost jobs and lost loves.... but I have never been closer to having everything that I have ever wanted than I am right now this very second.

The only thing standing in the way.... is me.
I have to make some changes.
I have to make some tough decisions.



But I am worth it.