Here’s the church, here’s the steeple, open the door, see all the SHEEPLE

Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
Liquor stores and churches.
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Liquor stores and churches.

The Good Reverend writes to his flock:


When a nation is on the brink of war, the worst thing its citizens can do is allow themselves to become divided. The Bible says that there is a time for war and a time for peace (Ecclesiastes 3:8). In fact, Jesus said that in the last days there would be wars and rumors of wars (Matthew 24:6). When this country was attacked on September 11, 2001, there was a fierce public outcry. America wanted her enemies to pay. Now, two years later, those same Americans are protesting the war against terrorism.

President Bush is worthy of your prayers and support. He is a man who rises early every morning to seek God and His wisdom through prayer and the study of the Word. This is not the time for Christians to picket, carry protest signs or throw their opinions around. The election is over, and the man in the Oval Office is the one we, as Americans, voted in. Numbers 32:7-13 makes it clear how God feels about a nation divided during a time of war.

This country needs unity, and it begins with the church. It is your responsibility as a believer to pray for the president, others in leadership, this nation, the men and women serving in the Armed Forces and our enemies--whoever they may be. Forget about your political affiliation or preference. You are first and foremost a Christian.

Begin by making these confessions:

• In the name of Jesus, I declare that I will not allow any corrupt communication to proceed out of my mouth concerning President Bush or others in leadership (Ephesians 4:29).
  
  
• I declare that he is a man of wisdom, and he is strengthened and guided by the Holy Spirit. I wholeheartedly support the decisions he makes for this country (1 Timothy 2:1-2).
  
  
• I lift up every man and woman serving in the Armed Forces. I declare that they walk in favor, wisdom and safety and that their lives are redeemed from destruction (Psalm 91:7; Psalm 103:1-6).

If you have taken part in any protests or have allowed any corrupt communication to flow out of your mouth concerning the president, repent and begin to show your support for him by calling his name out before God. Pray for wisdom and wise counsel regarding the decisions he must make for this nation. Obey what the Word says in 1 Timothy 1-2 and 1 Peter 2:13 and: 1) continue to pray for those in authority over you; and 2) submit to that established authority. In doing so, you honor God, our president and thousands of service members. When the temptation comes to murmur or complain, rejoice that there is a man in the White House who walks and talks with God daily. Remember, united we stand, divided we fall (Matthew 12:25)!

—$$$Dr. Creflo A. Dollar$$$

Mike Vick is the Worst Human Being since Hitler

I'm not saying too much about it.
Not gonna blog or respond to blogs beyond this.

In the end, what it comes down to, is "Michael Vick broke the law"

No matter how you feel about dogs, or athletes, Black people or celebrities, he broke the law, and that is the simplest argument to make.

I, for one, certainly hope that this unilateral Zero Tolerance Policy on law breaking extends to white celebrities AND the coon/sambo Black artists they love to push on us.

ALL RAPPERS ARRESTED ON ILLEGAL GUN and DRUG charges must face jail time. Bye bye, Snoop. Remember Puffy and JLo involved in a shooting, then RUNNING from police, and busted with a loaded weapon? Lock 'em up.

ALL BUBBLE GUM POP CELEBRITIES ARRESTED ON DUI CHARGES must face jail time. It's against the law.

Paris Hilton? Lindsay Lohan? Mel Gibson? Vivica Fox? Nicole Richie? Ty Pennington from Extreme Makeover? Tracy Morgan? George Michael? Method Man? Crooked wig Eve? Make them face jail just like we would. They broke the law.



More than anything else... If you are one of the many, many people who are outraged about the killing of poor, innocent dogs, I certainly hope that you are at least AS outraged (if not more) about the murder, torture, rape, and displacement that is happening to hundreds of millions of people in Palestine, Sudan, Liberia, Haiti, Iraq, Afghanistan, and countless other places around the world.

I hope that your outrage stretches to human fucking beings.


I understand, I understand. People in those countries may be a little to "ethnic" to elicit sympathies, it's hard to humanize them. So at least let your anger and intolerance for injustice reach people in this country.

Remember NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?

Oops. Probably still too "brown"

If nothing else, the people responsible for the deaths of thousands of American lives, among them, good white Americans. You with me now?

The people responsible for the deaths of over 3000 Americans on September 11, 2001.
The people responsible for the deaths of almost 4000 Americans in the illegal war in Iraq.
The people responsible for the mutilation and permanent injury of over 20,000 Americans, many with arms and legs blown off, eyes missing. This doesn't count Gulf War Syndrome or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.


I hope that you can save some finger wagging to go all the way around.

Please don't laugh at Helen Keller jokes.

Laughter has gotten me through a pretty rough weekend. People were weird. I was weird. People showed up that I didn't expect, some that I didn't welcome. Even my broad shoulders can bear only so much weight. Enough was enough.

So that lasted, I dunno, a few hours. I turned off my phone, my computer, effectively shutting myself off from folks. And I would have been content to be in a foul mood, if not for the wonder of On Demand.

I turned on a flick called The Matador, with Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear. I laughed until I cried tears. I swear, the movie is on par with Coming to America. And once I laughed I was fine.

After, Necessary Roughness came on HBO. Scott Bakula, Sinbad, football and the style of 1991. I was done. I was back.

Anyways.... Today was a pretty productive day, and throughout the day into the evening, I spent time trying to recall the funniest things ever. What's the funniest thing I've ever heard?

If you know me, if you have spent any time with me, then it's pretty likely that we've sat somewhere, probably around a table, putting our lives on the line, talking, laughing, holding our stomachs, choking and almost dying.

But what was it? I remember the laughter, but not the punchline.

Back in high school, my high school clique, The Lunch Mobb would organize "You Sit Down, You Get Clowned", usually after school at Sizzler. The rules were simple. You sit down. You get clowned. And it was the funniest thing ever. The Dozens times infinity, cuz a lot of it was real.

"Man, shuddup. You can't talk, you got doused with milk in the cafeteria during lunch. MILK CHECK, BIOTCH!"

This would continue until we were nauseous from eating waaaaay too much all-you-can-eat shrimp, and laughing hysterically for hours upon end.

Yeah, we were savage.


This is a photo from the infamous Winter Ball.
The moment it was over.... It Was On.

Nation's Restaurant. In suits. With dates. Clowning.

And I know I have never laughed so hard in my life. I still laugh now thinking about it, but I can't remember what the hell was said, other than that the humor was at somebody else's expense.

In LA. In Oakland. In Chicago, New York, Vegas. Philly, Cairo, Barcelona.

Since I can't remember what was said, I figured I'd type out something you should NEVER laugh at.

Helen Keller jokes. Not as bad as dead baby jokes.

If you laugh at these, you are going to hell. If you even snicker. Over.


Remember, don't laugh.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
She answered the iron.

How did she burn the other side of her face?
They called back.

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
She needs the other to moan with.

How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?
Reading the waffle iron.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff?
She was wearing mittens.

Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.

How come Helen Keller can't have kids??
Because she's DEAD!

What did Helen Keller's parent's do to punish her?

They rearranged the furniture.
They put Saran Wrap on the toilet.
They washed her hands out with soap.
They glued doorknobs to the walls.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car?
Because she was a woman.

How did Helen Keller break her arm in the car?
Trying to read stop signs.

Define true love.
Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
Neither did she.

How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
On a blind date.

How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
Answering the stapler.

(Before you send me an email or text messages attempting to "check" me on this in any way, please know that I will Photoshop pictures of you, place you in compromising positions with compromising people, and then create a brand new Myspace page with them.)