Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Everybody Loves White Women [The Sequel]

(White) Women We Love

By Eugene Robinson



Someday historians will look back at America in the decade bracketing the turn of the 21st century and identify the era's major themes: Religious fundamentalism. Terrorism. War in Iraq. Economic dislocation. Bioengineering. Information technology. Nuclear proliferation. Globalization. The rise of superpower China.

And, of course, Damsels in Distress.

Every few weeks, this stressed-out nation with more problems to worry about than hours in the day finds time to become obsessed with the saga -- it's always a "saga," never just a story -- of a damsel in distress. Natalee Holloway, the student who disappeared while on a class trip to the Caribbean island of Aruba, is the latest in what seems an endless series.

Holloway assumed the mantle from her predecessor, the Runaway Bride, who turned out not to have been in distress at all -- not physical distress, at least, though it's obvious that the prospect of her impending 600-guest wedding caused Jennifer Wilbanks an understandable measure of mental trauma.

Before the Runaway Bride, there were too many damsels to provide a full list, but surely you remember the damsel elite: Laci Peterson. Elizabeth Smart. Lori Hacking. Chandra Levy. JonBenet Ramsey. We even found, or created, a damsel amid the chaos of war in Iraq: Jessica Lynch.

The specifics of the story line vary from damsel to damsel. In some cases, the saga begins with the discovery of a corpse. In other cases, the damsel simply vanishes into thin air. Often, there is a suspect from the beginning -- an intruder, a husband, a father, a congressman, a stranger glimpsed lurking nearby.

Sometimes the tale ends well, or well enough, as in the cases of Smart and Lynch. Let's hope it ends well for Holloway. But more often, it ends badly. Once in a great while, a case like Runaway Bride comes along to provide comic relief.

But of course the damsels have much in common besides being female. You probably have some idea of where I'm headed here.

A damsel must be white. This requirement is nonnegotiable. It helps if her frame is of dimensions that breathless cable television reporters can credibly describe as "petite," and it also helps if she's the kind of woman who wouldn't really mind being called "petite," a woman with a good deal of princess in her personality. She must be attractive -- also nonnegotiable. Her economic status should be middle class or higher, but an exception can be made in the case of wartime (see: Lynch).

Put all this together, and you get 24-7 coverage. The disappearance of a man, or of a woman of color, can generate a brief flurry, but never the full damsel treatment. Since the Holloway story broke we've had more news reports from Aruba this past week, I'd wager, than in the preceding 10 years.

I have no idea whether the late French philosopher Jacques Derrida hung on every twist and turn of the Chandra Levy case; somehow, I doubt he did. But I suspect the apostle of "deconstructionism" would have analyzed the damsel-in-distress phenomenon by explaining that our society is imposing its own subconsciously chosen narrative on all these cases.

It's the meta-narrative of something seen as precious and delicate being snatched away, defiled, destroyed by evil forces that lurk in the shadows, just outside the bedroom window. It's whiteness under siege. It's innocence and optimism crushed by cruel reality. It's a flower smashed by a rock.

Or maybe (since Derrida believed in multiple readings of a single text) the damsel thing is just a guaranteed cure for a slow news day. The cable news channels, after all, have lots of airtime to fill.

This is not to mock any one of these cases (except Runaway Bride) or to diminish the genuine tragedy experienced by family and friends. I can imagine the helplessness I'd feel if a child of mine disappeared from a remote beach in the Caribbean. But I can also be fairly confident that neither of my sons would provoke so many headlines.

Whatever our ultimate reason for singling out these few unfortunate victims, among the thousands of Americans who are murdered or who vanish each year, the pattern of choosing only young, white, middle-class women for the full damsel treatment says a lot about a nation that likes to believe it has consigned race and class to irrelevance.

What it says is that we haven't. What it says is that those stubborn issues are still very much alive and that they remain at the heart of the nation's deepest fears.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Everybody Loves White People

So.... I got some bad news tonight.
Well... it's not "bad"...
Just not what I wanted to hear.
Truth is... I didn't even hear it, which I could take offense to as well...
I READ it.

So... I decided that I wasn't going out. I really was looking for an excuse to postpone anyways. You know how certain types of people you can only take in doses? There are other types of people you can only take at certain times, in certain moods, in certain weather. Tonight ain't the night...

I went to the gym... I ate a nice dinner. Now I'm home. Missed Calls= 0. Ain't that a blip?

So.... I decided... that to put myself BACK into proper mood... I would write about a subject near and dear to my very own heart.

White people.

Sometimes referred to as: Caucasians, Whities, Crackas, Honkies, Pale Face, "The Man", Boss, Massah, Mister Dubalina Mr Bob Dubalina, Mista Charlie...

You know them. Heck, you may be one for all I know...

Most people think I don't like white people. This is not true.


I DESPISE coons who love white folk.









































I'm getting distracted.... anyways. I wanted to dedicate a section of MYSpace to a few folks of the Caucasian Persuasion that I think are alright.
NOTE: If your favorite actor/singer/rapper didn't make the list... it's probably because they suck...

So....

For obvious reasons. Superman/Christopher Reeve has a special place in my heart... The Man Of Steel, Last Son Of Krypton, The Man Of Tomorrow... Kal-El (Dude had an Arabic name... come on!)


LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MEAN GENE!!!!


I must admit.... this quite possibly the best television show EVER. And look, a Black person! (Too bad he gets shot/poisoned/comatose EVERY other week)




And oh yes... gotta give it up for Jesus!



Oops... he wasn't white! My bad...

Okay... left off of the list... My friend Dirk, cuz I don't have a picture of him.

Any others? Please leave suggestions.

2010 Edit:

My dear, dear friend @jlalala added a comment back when this was current. She said,

"I know you're gonna hate me for this one, but I can't help it....
Bubba. Yes. Bill Clinton. It's probably because he's from the South.
*chokes back sob*
Sorry..."

I replied:

25 Apr 1978Arkansas state attorney general Bill Clinton allegedly rapes 35-year-old nursing home proprietor Juanita Broaddrick at the Camelot Inn in Little Rock. Broaddrick does not come forward with her story until 1998.


27 Jan 1992Candidate Bill Clinton and Gennifer Flowers mutually accuse each other of lying about whether or not they had a 12-year adulterous relationship, between 1977 and 1989. Of course, from Clinton's 1998 testimony we know for a fact that they did. For her trouble, Flowers eventually receives an out-of-court settlement for $800,000 and a nude pictorial in Penthouse magazine.


11 Feb 1993President Clinton nominates the beautiful Janet Reno to be US Attorney General.


28 May 1993After being interrupted by AIDS protesters during a speech in Philadelphia, President Clinton opines: "Let me tell you something -- Wait a minute. You know one things that's wrong with this country? Everybody gets a chance to have their fair say."




5 May 1995During commencement at Michigan State University, President Clinton declares: "There is nothing patriotic about hating your country, or pretending that you can love your country but despise your government."
15 Nov 1995Bill Clinton gets a blowjob from Monica Lewinsky in a private study in the White House while on the phone with Reps. Jim Chapman and John Tanner.
8 Jun 1996In his weekly radio address, President Bill Clinton reminisces: "I have vivid and painful memories of black churches being burned in my own state when I was a child." Two days later, after it became clear that no black churches were burned in Arkansas during that period, a deputy White House press secretary clarifies: "The President's recollection is that there were burnings of some black community buildings in the '50s when he was a child."




@jlalala replied:

Well it must be love then, at least by your definition. He and I are a coupla fools... (but I'm younger than he is, and my daddy taught me that you don't have to be a fool all your life, so give me a couple weeks, k? )

Me:
Nah... for some reason, Black Folks have this love with white trash. That fool ignored the genocide in Rwanda (everybody felt so BAD after watching Hotel Rwanda) 

Tuesday, June 7, 2005

This is who you love...




This is who you love,
This is who you support,
This is who you validate,
This is who you defend,
This is who you make excuses for.

For him, you deny your own values,
Prioritizing your need to be Entertained,
Over your Morality,
Over your Humanity.

Of the Black Folk who deserve your Loyalty,
The Cornel Wests
The Huey P's,
The Malcoms,
The Martins,
The Assatas and the Barbara Lees,
This is who you have chosen as the man deserving of your collective Support.
Your money,
24.7 Access to your MIND thru music and video.



No wonder.....

Sunday, June 5, 2005

A Brief Introduction


People have been asking me to Blog for years.
I don't know why.

It is entirely possible that I despise everything that defines you. Your lame pop music addictions, these *Celebrities* that are marketed SO WELL that you actually adopt them as your own. Who are the "In" *Celebrities* for now? How many will be around in 6 years? Be Honest.

It's probably not a good idea to contact me unless you are willing to challenge yourself, be confronted with your TRUE self, witness your own shortcomings.

It's easy to feel like the *ish* when you are surrounded by retards... But out of your comfort zone, you may have to get an honest look at yourself and see that maybe you are a lot more "Average" than you care to admit.


If you want to run a sample test... ask yourself
A- do I have any tattoos?
B- do I have any body piercings?
("Aw man, Slam, you tripping! What do my chinese tattoo or a tongue ring got to do with being a follower?")
No... this is not 100% for 100% of the people, but look around you, and the practicality of this experiment shouldn't be lost on you. You don't judge a people by the Exceptions.

If we do these things to Individualize ourselves... and EVERYBODY does it, at what point in this procedure do you stop being an Individual, and become a carbon-copy? A sheep. A Follower.

Cattle.

There is a reason why this country is in the shape it's in. There is a reason why Corruption, Dishonesty, Promiscuity, Ignorance, Deviance and Perversion have become accepted as THE NORM.

You are being controlled. You think you are free, you think your opinions are your own, but you are being ruled by your passions by people who understand you better than you understand yourself.
This is why they can steal TWO elections, give BILLIONS to the rich in tax cuts while closing schools, and tell you that the US Military is full of noble souls overseas who are "Fighting for your freedom".

Just give people reality TV, dumbass music, music videos... They will ignore what they know to be true. Get them drunk, get them high, oversex them, dumb them down...


"They wind you up, and then they turn you loose,
Have you thinking that you're totally free,
While they rule from afar, no matter where you are,
They can turn you off and on easily,
They control your emotions,
They channel your devotions,
And put your motivations on pause,
You change your style,
Like you change a dial,
And you never know what hit you because,
They got you moving on Remote Control,
And you don't rule yourself,
Your mind, your body and your soul,
Are being ruled be somebody else,
Remote Control"

"Remote Control " by Hijrah from the album "Time"