My Review of X-Men: The Last Stand

Hated It!


To be completely honest... I hated the first one, and barely liked the second one.

But this was horrible.

I mean, really, really horrible.

It had a few saving moments..... an opening fight scene (which we find out is only a f*$'g simulation)...

Cyclops dies, thank God...but he fags up the screen for what seems like 30 minutes with his emo, "I grew a beard cuz I'm sufferring" crap.

Oh yeah, Dr Frasier Crane played The Beast! And hearing him say "Oh my stars and garters" was near worth the price of admission.

Yes.... "I'm the Juggernaut Bitch" was in the movie. And shouting it out loud with 300 other people at 2 in the morning was a wonderful experience.

But.... the movie sucked. They didn't explain anything. They lamed up most of the characters. Too many holes in the plot. Bad acting and baaaad dialogue.

And because I have been a fan of the comic book since I was in elementary school, I'm talking about the Uncanny X-Men... I have to express specific greivences.

-Halle Berry was the worst possible actor to play Storm. Ever. It's should have been Angela Bassett. Or dang, Sanaa Lathan before she sold out with "Something New"

-They did a piss-poor job of using Jean Grey as the Phoenix, and in typical Hollywood fashion, instead of explaining it properly, took a shortcut and said she had some kind of split personality bullcrap.

-No Sentinels

-They killed Professor X in a crappy way, that served no purpose.

-Complete misuse of the Morlocks, bordering on disrespect.

-trying to create a "hidden passion" love angle between Wolverine and Jean Grey was annoying as hell.

-they made one of the ORIGINAL X-Men, Angel, into a bit-part, lame loser of a character. WEAK!

-what the heck happened to the entire storyline of X-Men 2, with Wolverine finding out the truth about his past? Weapon X!

-I'm having a really hard time understanding how they can take a comic book, make a SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON out of it, and then make a series of movies that's not even as good as the dang cartoon.

I don't even want to think about this movie anymore.

If you're a fan of the comics, I already know you're going to go see this.
And you will hate it.


If you liked the first two movies.... I don't know what's wrong with you.

But, aside from some entertaining moments, some awesome effects, and some great one-liners from Wolverine and Magneto.... This move was horrid and terrible.

Stay away.

Day 1-6 of The Master Cleanse

Okay... I figured this may be useful to anybody who was thinking about doing some form of detox, fast or diet.

First off, READ the book! It will take you about 20 minutes.
The Master Cleanse <---click for the 30 page book!

If you don't read the book, and understand what you're doing and WHY... man... you'll be in trouble from day uno.

So let's start there...


Day One:
I drank a mug of Smooth Move tea the night before. First thing that morning, I prepared the salt-water wash... I'm not gonna lie. This was one of the most difficult things I have ever done.
Imagine drinking a quart of chicken broth.... Minus the chicken, herbs, spices and seasonings. And at room temperature.

dis gus ting

But I drank it in less than five minutes.

Soon after, I was hit with a mild wave of nausea, which kinda scared me, because in all disgusting honesty, I'd rather crap my pants than vomit.

Fortunately, it passed... and it took about 30 minutes for my stomach to realize what I had put in it. Which it quickly wanted OUT of my body.

So I hit the toilet, and stayed in that general area for the next hour. Back and forth, back and forth.

But after that.... EZ Street.

The lemonade actually tastes really good. You'd never think that cayanne pepper has it's place in it, but it makes it good, and settles your stomach.


Day Two:
I want to eat.... Anything, I don't care. Dead, alive, raw, horse, cow, frog, pizza, chili... dang.


Day Three:
A word to the wise.... If you can get through the initial hunger pangs, it's all good. I only "want" food now, but I'm not hungry, or weak, or tired, or dizzy or any of the things I feared.

I made it through a full work day today, nos weat at all, and I'm heading now from work (Sunday) to go and pick up a couple of dozen lemons, and I think by tomorrow I should be in the swing of things.

We shall see...


Day Four:
Okay.... it's Tuesday, and at this point, I can't believe that I haven't eaten ANYTHING since Friday. I'm not hungry, I'm just greedy.

My thoughts at this time revolve around BBQ.... sticky, sweet, tangy BBQ.

That and Round Table Pizza. And Zachary's Pizza. And chicken tikka masala with a warm, chewy naan. Oh, and calzone.

Alright, food is on my mind, but I'm not hungry, I'm not weak or dizzy or low on energy. I've been sleeping between 6-8 hours a night for the last 4 nights, which is about double my normal, so good habits abound!

On an unrelated note... my tongue is white. (As far as I can tell) my breath is pleasant, but my tongue is covered by a white film, which is to be expected, as a sign of the body releasing toxins.

No food since Friday, and no looking back.

4 days down

10 days to go.


Day Five:
Today was a test.

It's really easy to do something difficult and challenging while in a controlled situation. Much like in a relationship, you don't judge somebody by how they treat you while things are going well.

The true test of Man (and WOman) is on how we behave when things get a bit out of control. If your husband or wife, while upset, angry, mad, offended, enraged, or otherwise peeved, if he or she still communicates with you respectfully, refraining from ignorance, hatred or anger... That's your real test.

Anybody can act right on Christmas.

Today was crazy. And without going into too much detail, today I was confronted and "cornered" (can you really corner somebody my size? nah, it was emotionally trying to back me into a corner...) by somebody whom I had been avoiding since January.

Avoiding is the wrong word, and the wrong description.

Friend, long time, many many years, over ten years.

She was cut off in January.

She has had a death in her family, and she has turned to me.

Of course, I am a bad person for saying, "inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun (To God we belong, and to Him is our return), and I'm sorry for your loss, and you and your family are in my prayers..."

But that's it. Bad news isn't an occassion to hop on the Let's Kick It Express.

That's the short version, of course.... this is supposed to be about my experience with the Cleanse.

Mentally, emotionally, that alone was enough to shake me from my foundation a bit.... I mean, righteous indignation is hard work!

But when, between job #2 and job #3, my car decided to be a retard and stop working... If I had had a salisbury steak, some mashed potatos, heck, if there had been some stale goldfish crackers I would have torn into them... strictly out of anger.

But there weren't, so I didn't.

And in the end, I'm really glad I didn't, cuz I'm now looking at Day Six, which is almost Day Seven, which is HALFWAY!

And if I can make it on a day like today.... Tomorrow night at midnight, watching the new X-Men movie, snacking on *sigh* water and sneaked in lemon/maple/cayenne drink... That should be no problem, right?


Day Six:
Today was good. On the advice of Shelli Belli, I decided to make a lime juice instead of lemons. Wow. It's like discovering a 3rd Reese's Peanut Butter Cup in the package of 2, this is revolutionary, I have a whole new meal, a new liquid sanctuary!

I don't know what's more exciting.... The fact that I am almost HALFWAY through my 2 week fast, or the fact that I am 90 minutes from premiering the new X-Men movie.

No offense to the X-Men... but this is major. I haven't eaten since Friday, I feel pretty great, AND I've moved one notch lower on my belt already...

I've been talking to a lot of people about this, and I get similar reactions from most. So I feel like saying this...
This is not the hardest thing I have ever done.

It's not.

I mean, I am a 29 year old virgin with a sometime active social/dating life.
At this point, even that ain't too difficult for me to manage.

But I got a bag of white chocolate macadamia cookies from Subway in my hand.
These cookies used to be my crack

Yeah, I opened the bag.
I looked at 'em.
I inhaled their sweet, sweet aroma.
But I don't even want them.

Gimme my cayelimaple drink.

Tomorrow Is Another Day

I'm behind in everything not work-related.

How many of you know that I am moving soon?

Nobody.

Well, I am... 11 days and counting (insha Allah) until I move into my beautiful new place.

Yeah.... And with me working 1, 2, no 3 jobs now, it's starting to kick my butt a little.

The free time I do have, it's been hard for me to use properly. I'm behind in returning emails, witty comments, checking my voicemail. I come home, eat, sit (check MySpace), sleep, wake up (check MySpace), shower, work, go to new work, go to my last work (check MySpace), to head home again...

8:30 am to 11pm...

Not that I am complaining. Cuz I'm not.... Truth be told, I'm in negotiations to take up a light weekend job.

But the hustle does not come without consequence.

My eating habits have been horrible in these last few months.

For those who don't know, between December 2004 and July 2005, I lost 60 pounds.

Besides the fact that I was in the gym every night, it's  because I was not eating ice cream (Tofutti Cuties), cheesecake, popcorn, IN THE BED.

Can't say that's true now. I've put 25 of that 60 back.

Both Ben and Jerry can go to hell.

After month followed by month of moving notch and notch higher on my belt.... enough is too much. Somethng has to be done.

Enter: The Master Cleanse.

Starting tomorrow.... Nothing but lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. 14 days minimum.

Not just because I'm putting on lbs. But because I desire control.
Discipline.
Self-Mastery.

And I ain't done a cleanse since I was living in LA.

So tomorrow.... Friday, it begins.

Things will be good....

Focus
Returns.

I'd Probably Be A Christian Too

Let me tell y'all....
Rachelle Ferrell is a spiritual experience.
DAMN. Everytime I see her, it's like I have forgotten what I have learned.

Her energy, her honesty, her openness, she is living her dream, and everytime I have seen her.... she puts on the best show of her life.

Which can't be easy.... since that is what we, fans, expect.

During one portion of the show, she calls into the audience for a Brotha called "BJ" and another called "Jubu" to join her onstage. This is clearly unscripted, as it takes an eternity for them to get onstage. We learn that BJ sings in a quartet, and Jubu plays the GIT-tar and has co-written a song with Rachelle.

Masters.

So they do what Masters do. They jam.

And it starts out innocently enough... a slow, bluesy song.
Rachelle does the lyrics.
Jubu does an amazing GIT-tar solo.

And then Rachelle nods for BJ to sing.
Again... innocently enough.
Brotha has a real smooth voice, and he makes up some words as he gets comfortable...

Then.... he says the Jee word.


Jesus.


And the crowd, of course, being 90 percent Black and on a Sunday night, begins to stir.

He sings: "How many of y'all been to church this morning?"
Half the crowd begins waving their warms and swaying in their seats.

And then it happens.

The music changes.
The bass kicks. The drums hit. Hard.

The keyboard suddenly becomes an organ.

And I feel it.
I feel it.
The lurching in my stomach. The desire to scream, dance, shout, leap, to touch somebody, anybody....

This is significant. I have only been to "church" once.
As a youth, I was invited to attend church with a friend of mine from school. I couldn't have been older than 11. The Pastor during a break in the sermon, asked for visitors to join him upfront, introduce themselves to the congregation.

So I did.

My friend and his family were at my masjid that Friday.

So anyways.... for me to be sitting up in this concert, with my SPIRIT wanting to jump out of my body, is major.

And at that exact moment, I realized two things.

1) "I am having a major spiritual experience right now."
2) "I truly can not allow myself to be in the moment"
But we'll stick with number one, since it messed me up, and is changing the way I see everything around me.

I think many/most people confuse spiritual with religious.
Meaning, they confuse spiritual experiences with religious experiences.
Spiritual beliefs with Religious Beliefs.
Spiritual Truth with Religious Truth.

This is important as heck.

Cuz the Spiritual and Religious worlds are not exclusive to each other.

Spiritual: Of, or having to do with, the Spirit.
Religious: Of, or having to do with, Religion.

Easy enough.... until you get into the definition of Religion.

Religion is made up of two words.
Re: means to do again, to go back, (to REpeat)

The word lig is a Latin word that means to bind or tie (tightly) or to connect.

(some people substitute the word lig with LIGHT, thereby making Religion returning to Light.... but I'm not using this.)

So by definition, Religion would be Reconnecting, Rebinding or Retightening.... to God or with God.

So as I'm sitting in my seat, listening to the sounds, my skin tingling and my ears buzzing, thinking, "Man... if church feels like this, I am missing OUT!"

I'm a Muslim. During our religious services, we have no house band.

At no point have I ever felt compelled during a khutbah (sermon or address) to jump up and run through the aisles. Screaming, shouting, speaking in English or Arabic.

For some people.... that feeling is Religion to them.
And they are wrong.

I live in Oakland.
The only thing more common on our streets than liquor stores, are churches.

And you would think, that if the church experience was a Religious one, then there would be some serious Rebinding, Reconnecting and Retightening with God in the O.

En masse.

But there is not.

And this is because the Black Church Experience is not about Religion. At best, it's a treat for the spirit. A show. Hooting and hollering in 5 part harmony.

A feeling.

Not growth.



The story of Jesus in the Bible, and the way that it is taught to Negroes, is not designed to help us grow. To develop. To improve.

Massa did not give us Christianity to do anything other than pacify us. It's like going to the Apollo Theater for Amateur Night.

It's a show.
Entertainment.


Laugh, cry, dance, sing,
Come back next week and do the same thing.

Is there any good to it?
Of course there is.

You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:

________ is coming to town!

He's making a list,
He's checking it twice,
He's gonna find out
who's naughty or nice.

_________ is coming to town!

He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake.
He knows when you've been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake!

 

Substitute "Jesus" for "Santa" and you have pretty much summed up Christianity.

The Christian use of Jesus and God is one designed to control behavior, but not to help people spiritually grow.

Where you learn how to act or present yourself in certain situations, but never accept your own Divinity, your own Power, and your Divine Destiny.

Looking at these Oakland neighborhoods, are the surrounding communities improved by the presence of corner churches?

Or do they actually contribute to keep Niggas in line?

In its history, has the Black Church helped free us from promiscuity?
Alcohol abuse?
Drug abuse?
Child abuse?
Spousal abuse?

Are Black People moving forward in the world, or are we constantly and consistently passed by other ethnic groups and immigrant communities?

141 years after the abolition of slavery, 45 years after the ending of Jim Crow, why are Black People so far behind?

The Answer... as a whole, we are Historically Ignorant.

And Spiritually Retarded.

Because the "Religion" that Massa gave us to keep 1000 slaves from revolting against 10 overseers, Niggas still cling to.

The White Man's Jesus does not empower.

He teaches you to accept your sufferring, your condition, your fate.

And not to change it.

And if I didn't know any better...