Questioning 9/11

Here are some very basic facts about 9/11 that you have been convinced to not think about.

World Trade Center Towers

• Jet fuel does not burn hot enough to melt steel.
• Footage shows explosives were placed in both towers before the attack to cause the towers to disintegrate into dust.
• The towers fell exactly into their footprint, taking the past of most resistance in about 10 seconds, the same amount of time it takes an object to fall that distance in a vacuum.
• The towers tossed massive steel beams 200 feet in each direction, too far to be explained by a gravity collapse.
• Survivors and firefighters report explosions at the BASE of the WTC towers at the same time as the planes hit it - how did Osama do this?
• Pools of molten metal were found 7 stories under the towers 6 weeks after the attack. It takes 5000+ degrees Fahrenheit to turn steel into liquid. Where did this energy come from?
• The top of the south tower began to collapse sideways, then righted itself, falling into it's footprint. This is impossible with only gravity working to collapse the tower.

Building 7

• It was a 47 story, steel-framed building that disintegrated later in the day, also from explosives. It was not hit by any planes. How did Osama pull this one off?
• The 23rd floor was the Mayor’s "Emergency Command Center," a reinforced bunker which had its own air and water supply. (Could this have been the command center for destroying the towers?)

Pentagon

• How does a 65 ton Boeing 767 with a 125 foot wingspan fit through a 16 foot hole in the side of the Pentagon leaving virtually no wreckage?
• There is no evidence of a Boeing 767, seats, wings, engines, luggage or the dead passengers at the Pentagon.
• The Pentagon security video suggests a missile explosion rather than a jet fuel explosion.

The Planes

• The planes that hit the WTC towers, from viewing the footage in slow motion, do not appear to be passenger jets. They have extra equipment and no windows.
• What is the explosive flash on the side of the towers just before the planes penetrate the buildings?
• With Flight 93, the reported flight of the "Lets Roll" hero's, wreckage was strewn 8 miles from the crash sight when this plane was reported to be "ditched" in Pennsylvania. How is that possible?
• At least 8 of the reported 19 "hijackers" are still alive.
  
• There are no Arab names on ANY of the passenger lists for the 4 hijacked flights.
• Cellular phone calls are impossible in flight above 8000 feet as cell phones have low power and cell towers point downwards.

Stolen Sperm (You Can't Make This Up!)

July 25, 2005 -- A Brooklyn man who claims his estranged wife forged his name to get hold of his frozen sperm and used it to conceive a daughter has been ordered to pay child support — and has filed a multimillion-dollar suit for reimbursement.

The lawyer for the unwitting dad, LIRR engineer Deon Francois, says New York University's famed fertility clinic should be responsible for the little girl's expenses through college.

The bizarre saga began in 1997 when Francois and his wife, Chaamel, married. Five years later, unable to conceive, the couple consulted experts at NYU, and Deon provided a sperm sample in July 2002.

But the marriage hit the rocks, and Deon left Chaamel in April 2003.

Deon's lawyer, John James, said that according to the NYU contract, the frozen sperm should have been destroyed when his client stopped paying storage fees.

"Personally, I think that NYU should pay the child support and put this child through college," he said.

In court papers, Deon, 34, claims that Chaamel, 36, paid the storage fees until December 2003, when she forged his name on a release, had it notarized and underwent the first of two in-vitro fertilizations.

The following August, Deon visited his wife and said he was shocked to see her pregnant.

"I said, 'So who are you pregnant from?' " he recalled. "She said, 'It's yours.' I said, 'Don't tell me you went to the clinic and did what I think you did.' "

The girl, Nazair, was born Nov. 24, 2004, and Francois said Chaamel immediately hit him up for support.

In court papers, Chaamel, an art teacher and truancy officer at Brooklyn's Wingate HS, denies deceiving Deon.

"For years, we have collectively attempted to conceive a child with the assistance of a fertility clinic," she said in an affidavit.

"He knew full well that I was continuing with our joint efforts."

Deon is seeking $9 million from NYU, his wife and the notary whose seal appears next to Deon's "signature."

The notary, Howard Biren, says in court papers that Chaamel stole his seal.

Francois says he has not asked that criminal charges be filed in connection with the alleged forgery; NYU declined to comment and it's not clear whether the school or the notary is seeking Chaamel's prosecution.

The latest chapter in the bizarre saga took place last Thursday, when Brooklyn Supreme Court Justice Sarah Krauss, who is hearing their divorce case, refused to lower his $400 weekly child-support payments for Nazair, who is now 8 months old.

Francois says he's seen the little girl only twice and is heartbroken about being excluded from her life.

"I wanted to be there," the 34-year-old dad said. "I wanted to be in the delivery room. I wanted to raise that child. I want to be there for that child."

Steven Gildin, a lawyer for Chaamel, said the judge's decision on child support was easy.

"It is completely irrelevant as to how this child was conceived, whether it's through intercourse or through a fertility clinic," said Gildin. "If you don't protect the child, what becomes of the child, who is the most innocent person in this scenario?"

I Must Apologize

I figure I gotta say it if nobody else will.

You are going to hell if you support or defend this man.

If you give him your time or money.

Again... if he had been raping little white girls, there would be no need to convince people that this is evil incarnate.

Because... we all worship white folk.

When brown people die, we shrug.
Even when it's in our own communities.

When white people die anywhere in the world.... Even when the chickens come home to roost, it's a tragedy, a travesty, we need moments of silence and congressional inquiries. Bumper stickers and catch phrases.

I remain baffled and mystified that the devil so willingly can seduce.

But if he can keep singing, I can keep typing. This will not get old.

Girl on R. Kelly Video was 14 Chicago Sun-Times
July 21, 2005

 Roman Polanski, meet R. Kelly.

Chicago- The girl in the alleged R. Kelly sex video was only 14 years old when it was made, the girl's best friend testified Wednesday.

"It was the summer after eighth grade," said the witness, who is now 21. She grew up in Forest Park near the girl from the video, and the two have been friends "since I was in the third grade," she said.

Kelly, the 38-year-old R&B superstar, was charged three years ago with 14 counts of child pornography for allegedly videotaping himself engaging in various sex acts with the underage girl he referred to as his "Goddaughter" on his "TP2.com" album.

No trial date has been set, as Kelly's lawyers and prosecutors wrestle over issues such as when the tape was made -- which factors into the age of the then-allegedly underage girl, who will be 21 in September.

The girl's best friend became the first witness in the lead-up to the case. Wednesday's hearing was an attempt by Kelly's lawyers -- he had four in court with him -- to try to narrow the 51-month window during which prosecutors say the tape was made.

The witness leaned forward, her hands clasped between her knees, wearing a white camisole and short, teased hair, and said she could tell her friend was 14 years old in the video in part because of the hairstyle sported by her friend.

'Could have been a little before'

"It was kind of a mullet, short on the top, long in the back," she said. "I was probably like 14 when I got my hair cut like that."

Her friend got the haircut about the same time, she testified.

The witness added that it could have been earlier than the summer of 1999 that her friend appeared in the video.

"It could have been a little before, 'cause we got that haircut before in the eighth grade," she said.

Kelly, dressed in an olive green suit, his hair neatly braided, watched without expression as the 21-year-old testified.

Though she did not mention it on the stand Wednesday, court papers indicate the witness spent time with her best friend and Kelly starting the summer after sixth grade, with the three hanging out at Hoops Gym, Kelly's Trax Studio and Kelly's former home in the 1000 block of West George, where the video allegedly was made in the basement hot tub room.

The witness said her friend told her she was not the girl on the video.

Prosecutors on Wednesday trimmed the 51-month window during which they say the video was made down to the 33 months between Jan. 1, 1998, and Nov. 1, 2000.

That is still too big a window for R. Kelly to defend with alibis, his attorneys argued.

Judge Vincent Gaughan seemed to agree, appearing to threaten to throw out the case if prosecutors could not narrow the time frame.

"Nobody wants to let a monster go free," Gaughan said. "But nobody wants to convict an innocent individual."

Gaughan praised the two prosecutors on the case, Shauna Boliker and Robert Heilingoetter, but noted they were not the initial prosecutors; that seven of the initial 21 counts had been dismissed, and that a musician such as Kelly, who is frequently out of town touring, is entitled to a more reasonable time window to defend.

"If this is the best you can do, I will make a ruling accordingly," Gaughan warned the prosecutors.

Another possible clue to the tape's timing: A new-release music video show heard on the tape features "Let's have a Party Tonight" by the Backstreet Boys and "Too Much" by the Spice Girls, which were hits in late 1998/early 1999. An ad can also be heard for "The Money Store," which closed in 2000.

Two other witnesses also testified Wednesday that the girl appeared to them to be 14 or 15.

Gaughan continued the hearing to next week to give Kelly's main attorney, Ed Genson, time to put prosecutors' other witnesses on the stand.

Those other friends and family of the girl have told prosecutors she appears to be 14 or 15 on the tape. One girl said she was part of an overnight party at Kelly's house on West George Street.

Meanwhile, Kelly's latest album remains the number one seller in the country for the second week in a row. "TP.3 Reloaded," with the sex-filled single "Trapped in the Closet," has sold 635,000 copies.

The Absolute Truth (R Kelly & Others)

I read this on a messageboard:

Does anyone know why R. Kelly can sell 500,000 records when he is on tape having sex and peeing on the face of a minor? Because the minor doesn't have a name like Kate Faber or Elizabeth Smart. No one in the media cares about a black 14 year old girl even if there is proof on a tape. They care more about a 19 year old white woman, with the semen of another man dripping out of her hours after leaving Kobe, than a 14 year old black girl. If that was a white girl in the R. Kelly video, he would have been hung by now, especially as a black man. With a white girl on that tape, Nancy Grace of CNN would make sure of it. She crucified Kobe and Michael OFF NO EVIDENCE. Imagine what she would have done with a tape. R. Kelly would not be singing about Closets for sure and he sure as hell would have been on trial by now.

Whether or not we like to admit it... as Black people, we are both the victims and the perpetrators of the worst form of violence against our women.
A lethal combination of racism and misogyny.

How many women do you know who have been raped, molested, or the victim of sexual violence?

Our continued support of this man, and of ALL of those like him, is a slap in the face to those who paved the way for us to stand with dignity. There was a time, go figure, when the Black Man was actually the PROTECTOR of the Black Woman. Now.... the role of predator has become quite acceptable.

Now, in perhaps a final act of perversion, those who hate our women, our mothers, our Sistas the most, are the most lusted after in our community.

I had this conversation with a friend of mine over IMs a few weeks ago.... I hope she doesn't mind me using her IM name.

Grab some tea, turn down the music.... because this convo is realer than real:

poeticslam: Okay.... Ludacris is officially a gay
lockdsistah: a gay, huh?
poeticslam: The video he shot in Afrika
poeticslam: "Pimpin' All Over The World"
lockdsistah: oh, you just now seeing that...it would have been so beautiful IF the lyrics weren't
poeticslam: Features the Afrocentric hook... "Sing it hoes"
lockdsistah: riiiight....
lockdsistah: sing it hoes is in the song?
lockdsistah: NO...A GAYER one is Kanye Wests Blood Diamonds.  i thought he was going to drop some knowledge on the diamond trade in Sierra Leone...but it's about his record label...but THE VIDEO is little kids farmin these blood diamonds
lockdsistah: I was DISAPPOINTED...that COULD have been something, but he went the nigga route
lockdsistah: oh well
poeticslam: Yeah... artists ca$hing in on "Consciousness"
poeticslam: I don't even count Kanye because he is actually a bunghole impaling homo
poeticslam: Luda had a 2nd chance
lockdsistah: wow@bunghole impaling homo...strong words
lockdsistah: I think he's trying...Luda IS trying...
poeticslam: Trying is failing
poeticslam: If you put it out, and made money on it... you failed
poeticslam: I am close to cursing
poeticslam: "Sing it hoes"Y
lockdsistah: Does he REALLy say that...sing it hoes?
lockdsistah: I've only heard the song a couple of times
poeticslam: He really does
lockdsistah: *smh*
poeticslam: Your buddy
poeticslam: I'll BRB, prayer time
lockdsistah: Oh! Lil Kim going to jail
poeticslam: Only for a year.... but it's a start
lockdsistah: she was quoted to saying that she was a god fearing christian...and she's going to the connecticut jail to be closer to her mother...from the woman who made "hardcore"
lockdsistah: My post on imgrown about the topic...
lockdsistah: She said she was a God-Fearing Christian...did she REALLY say that? Did she expect anybody to BELIEVE that...
And she's going to a Connecticut jail to be "closer to her Momma"...
All that from the woman with the album "Hardcore" under her...uh...belt...

I used to be scared of the dick, now I throw lips to the shit. Handle it like a real bitch. Heather Hunter, Janet Jackme- take it in the buns...yeah, that's what's up...

God is FASHO' rockin out to that one....

Trip thing is- I can come VERBATIM with alot of her raunchy joints. That's how much I listened to this GARBAGE as a shorty. Surprised I ain't going to jail.

This ain't her first offense. Her first offense was tellin' lil black girls that its not only OKAY, but exceptable to be a NASSY hoe. She should have went to jail T
lockdsistah: This ain't her first offense. Her first offense was tellin' lil black girls that its not only OKAY, but exceptable to be a NASSY hoe. She should have went to jail THEN.

Lock her up!

My 2 cents

lockdsistah: This is after a couple people posted that "Martha Stewart only got 5 months for lying".
poeticslam: Yeah.... EXACTLY!
poeticslam: I don't believe in defending Martha Stewart, she should have gotten years, too
poeticslam: I love that "This is not her first offense"
poeticslam: That is SO on point
lockdsistah: yeah...and I used to LOVE lil' kim...she was REAL to me.  Sucks what young minds think up
poeticslam: Don't it???
poeticslam: Nobody could tell you nothing
poeticslam: People "love" her cuz she's black, or ghetto, or famous
poeticslam: Loyalty.....
lockdsistah: Also because she was seen as an "answer" to what the boys were putting out.  She was the "comeback".  But in reality, we went from a man calling us hoes to ourselves calling us hoes...
lockdsistah: stupid stupid stupid...
poeticslam: mmmm hmmmm
poeticslam: A lesson nobody can make anybody learn
poeticslam: The true solution would have been to destroy those men
poeticslam: Systematically
lockdsistah: But I have learned that black women are easy ass followers, and not alot of them use the sense that the good lord gave them.
lockdsistah: but I must reevlatuate, because it goes deeper than that
poeticslam: It does
poeticslam: MUCH deeper
poeticslam: It's a victim's mentality
lockdsistah: A mentality that women place on their shoulders and wear like a fur coat
poeticslam: If you don't look at a victim as a victim, then you just call her stupid or destructive
lockdsistah: proudly, and for the world to see...
poeticslam: What we have now is the result of mass-misogyny AND racism... PLUS our own internal hatred of ourselves and our women
lockdsistah: it's a prepetual cycle of destruction.  Black women don't know which way is up anymore.
poeticslam: Yep
poeticslam: Nor do men
poeticslam: Men call you bitch and hoe.... and the response is "They can do it, so we can too"
lockdsistah: yeah...how ass backwards is that?
poeticslam: Only if you see it as a victim's mentality can you sympathize
lockdsistah: I have a hard time with sympathy...you know that
poeticslam: Yeah.... I have been writing on that also
lockdsistah: on your own sypathy prollums, or mine?
lockdsistah: sympathy
poeticslam: No.... the need for sympathy. Even for what we can't understand
poeticslam: Those of us who aren't of a mentality tend to condemn those who aren't with us
lockdsistah: Oh, yeah...It is always seen as "it's their fault"...that's how I think.  I always say "Get your shit together, I got mine together, what the FUCK is stopping you from getting YOURS together"
poeticslam: We talked about this before
lockdsistah: yeas we have
poeticslam: And it's a big deal I think
lockdsistah: yes .it is...
poeticslam: You in your situation have been given more....
poeticslam: There are people with two parents.... free rides, etc
poeticslam: Who turn out to accomplish nothing
poeticslam: Miserable people
lockdsistah: I struggled and thank god for my struggle...people who don't know darkness cannot appreciate the light...
poeticslam: That is the MOST true
poeticslam: And how could you?
poeticslam: If you have never been hungry... how likely is it you will appreciate each meal?
lockdsistah: exactly
lockdsistah: HEy...did you know that trapped in the closet is supposed to be a 30 PART SERIES *passes out on the floor*
poeticslam: Hey... did you know Negroes are the most easily manipulated peoples since Nazi germans?
poeticslam: I've never heard the song....
poeticslam: Never seen the video
lockdsistah: you dont wanna
lockdsistah: dont wanna
lockdsistah: We need to post this convo on a blog
poeticslam: LockdSlam's thoughts
lockdsistah: mmmhmmmm  PoeticSistah
lockdsistah: or some such

How Much Do You Love God?

It's fairly obvious, I hope to most of us..... that the world is in bad shape.

To man, Satan is an avowed enemy who has been jealous of us from our creation. His entire goal, his purpose, is to keep us off of the Path of Righteousness. In Islam, it's called "Sirat Al-Mustaqeem" The Straight Path.

Satan appeals to everybody differently. What he uses to tempt me to slip is not the same as what he uses against you. What is similar, is that always, he appeals to our appetites. This is true and consistent from The Garden.

Satan has no powers other than suggestion. Deception. He can't control us, he can't make us do things, his ability to whisper in our ears, in a voice sounding like our own, has proven to be more than enough for most.

Which brings me to this question?

How much do you, my reader, my friend, truly love God?

It's fairly common to find people who wear their religious beliefs. The popularity of "Jesus is the Homeboy" trucker caps and tees is astounding.
Check your bulletins.... how often do you see the "If you love God and you're not ashamed send this to everybody you know" message?

Rappers with million dollar crosses.

The bottom line is this:
Love of God translates to one thing. Obedience.

God has very clearly given Rules and Laws to man. He has given us Holy Books and Prophets. As people who believe in God, should not our behavior, our thoughts, our intentions, our actions, our diets, our dress, our relationships, our work ethic, and every aspect of our lives be a reflection of this?

Anybody disagree?

So.... the definition of a hypocrite: loosely, somebody who says they believe in one thing, but whose actions indicate somethin' else.

For example:

A so-called vegetarian who eats baby back ribs ("but only on holidays")

A so-called health nut who smokes
A so-called PRO-BLACK PRO-AFRIKA Brotha or Sista who exclusively dates white folks.

You can dig it.

I guess what I am saying is this. I don't think this is new news to anybody. But if you call yourself a man or woman of God, and there are areas where you fall short of how God has clearly dictated for you to live, specifically speaking on sex, drugs and alcohol.... do you ever ask yourself why?

It is a great harm, not only to yourself.... but we are walking commercials for our respective religions. If you fall short, ESPECIALLY on the above mentioned threesome, keep that ish to yourself. Don't brag on your sins. Don't broadcast them. It is harmful to your own soul, and to the cause which you claim to believe in.

The easiest is way to judge a person is not by what he says, but what he does.

You will be judged on your behavior, not your affiliation.

Why Why Why Why Why, BET, Why?

If you didn't know.... I was really sick for the last few weeks. And... while I have abstained from television since March of this year, it is an easy habit to fall back into. Something comforting about the flickering, ever-moving lights, the sounds. I will kick the habit again soon, but.... man.

So.... I watched the first 20 minutes of the BET awards replay last night, and then flipped back and forth... I loved Will and Jada, as usual, I hated just about everybody else (the NEW people) lip-synching, shiny-suiting, flashy-lighting, and pyro-exploding so that nobody will bother to look for talent, depth or meaning.

A few things were confirmed for me.

John Legend is overrated.

He should not be rated at all.

I cannot wait for his 15 minutes to be up.

Missy Elliot needs to stop making music IMMEDIATELY. I am thinking of circulating a petition.

I really do not like Beyonce. I can't wait until she gets old. She is one of the most annoying humans I have ever been forced to have an opinion about.

Any artist that gains INSTANT FAME is likely going to suck. So many of the performers at this award show will be forgotten (hopefully) within 5 years (John Legend, Ciara, Mike Jones, and whoever that Sambo Gospel Group was at the end)

People will buy (and buy INTO) anything.

A woman as CEO of BET will likely bring ZERO change in the misogynistic programming, just as having a BLACK MAN did not prevent BET from being a constant source of negative images of Blacks.

Over the last year or so, I have deepened my admiration of Will Smith. ESPECIALLY with him putting his career on the line to speak against the war on Iraq, Afghanistan and Terror. He has spoken very openly on racism in the country, and within our political system, and the little bit I saw of him (and Jada) was really funny.

So... I found this while surfing, I thought it was funny, I hope y'all can enjoy it as much as I did.

-----
I'm sure many of you caught the BET awards and while I thought it was one of the better BET award shows and that Will and Jada did a great job of hosting (their rules were hilarious), I just had a few "Why's" to throw out there:

Why didn't somebody tell beyonce that you could see her undergarment clear as day during their ghetto, inappropriate stripshow?

Why is nick cannon forever trying too hard to be funny and ends up coming off as corny?

Why is gladys knight's voice STILL better than half the performers we have today?

Why hasn't alicia keys gotten a personal stylist yet? please stop using your girlfriend from highschool to dress you.

Why did remy ma look a hot mess? is that a man?

Why did mariah carey look like she couldn't walk in her shoes? and
Why did she look all puffed up in the face? she's an extra medium.

Why did omarion have his baby hair (circa ginuwine 98) slicked down going into his sideburns? that is not cute.

Why was i happy that ciara was lip synching?

Why did michael jordan look like he had on a zoot suit? ALL that money looking like bishop magic don juan. get a custom tailor.

Why are will & jada like the perfect couple?

Why does everyone call on sheila e whenever they need some percussion? is she the ONLY black person we got that plays? further,
Why does she still look good after all this time?

Why was teena marie's dress riding up with every verse of her poem? and why did she reference "passing the joint?" she is the original wigger.

Why doesn't faith get rid of those biker chick tatoos all over her body already? she looks horrible when she has on a formal gown and then biggie's baby mama" inked across her left breast get in touch with a laser removal specialist.

Why is toni braxton STILL the bomb? but i ask, why was she laying the deep, breathey, barely-understand-what-i'm-saying mode of singing on extra thick? this is a tribute, toni.

Why do i hate when mary j blige starts to dance? and why does she associate screaming with singing?

Why does fantasia all of a sudden look ghetto to me?

Why was NOBODY feeling that obnoxious gospel group? "NO WAY" they should've booked you.

Why did mike jones need to bring his entire neighborhood on stage - ruining the show for me all together.

Why does leon always have a front row seat to anything BET does? Who is he sleeping with over there b/c he hasn't worked since the Temptations movie.

Why does gabrielle union always look the same?

Why is monique pregnant with twins and YOU CAN'T TELL?

Why does everyone refer to missy as this pioneer, but the last few albums she's put out has just been a throwback to old beats in the 70s & 80s. that ain't trailblazing.

Why did Will and Jada plug the show as a family show in commercials and yet, 10 minutes into the show they were bleeping out some of Lauren Hill's lyrics?

Why didn't Lauren Hill cancel her performance if she knew she wasn't going to be able to sing...one note?

Why did Mariah Carey look like she was having a nervous breakdown as she was singing her song? Was it me or did she look EXTREMELY uncomfortable or upset or both?

Why did Destiny's Child thank God when they received their award and then proceed to do a lap dance in their performance when it clearly violated the third rule spelled out by Will and Jada?

Why did they show Vivica Fox like...a gazillion times?

Why is it that most of the artists who received awards weren't even there? Didn't they ask them to RSVP? Didn't anyone make follow-up calls?

Why was someone constantly correcting the information on the teleprompter or in biographical video clips?

Why doesn't BET use some of the money they make from their T&A videos and put it towards tigher production? (granted this year was probably better than most. I mean, the TV image only screwed up a few times)

Why did the brother who would come from behind stage to hand people the nomination envelopes look like an intern who didn't realize that he would be expected to come out and hand out those envelopes?

Why did it always sound like there was a fight going on when folks were presenting the awards--what was all that damn noise about?

Why is it that when the camera panned the audience folks were almost always walking around in the aisles like they were at a party?

Why didn't anyone come out and brief the audience that some of them would be caught on camera so they should look as though they were having fun at all times and not look pissed when Gladys performed because she wasn't Kiara or 50 Cent?

Why was Tom Cruise on BET for the second time this month?

Why does Tom Cruise always look like he's afraid for his life when he's on BET?

Why did Will Smith's father from the Fresh Prince give him dap that looked like a secret gay hug?

Why did Jada look like a miniature drag queen at times?

Why did Stevie Wonder sing John Legend's song better than John Legend? (okay, I hate John Legend's voice so maybe it's just me)

Why didn't I know John Legend was gay?

Why doesn't John Legend seem to know he's gay?

Why are we still giving Alicia Keys award after award?

Why was 65-year old Gladys Knight the best singer and performer of the evening?

London Bombing 7/7

The Chickens Have Come Home To Roost for England.

While my heart goes out to the innocent victims in London, England... The whole of my heart also goes out to the INNOCENT victims in Afghanistan, Iraq, Palestine, Haiti, Sudan, Liberia, Columbia and elsewhere... victims of US Militarism, of racist foreign policies.

Maybe when it's white folks dying folks will wake up.

Nah.

"Kill more A-rabs" will be the call.


2010 Edit
My friend Candace offered this link, which is still really good: 
http://www.villagevoice.com/2005-07-05/news/after-the-london-bombings-our-dead-have-names-too/ 

"God didn't call America to engage in a senseless, unjust war ... We've committed more war crimes almost than any nation in the world." (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

Dropping The Hammer

I got this text message the other night....

"U make me feel so inferior and unworthy. Do I really deserve someone like you?"

And after sitting on that message for a couple of minutes.... The honest answer is No.

It's gotten to the point that statements like this no longer shock me. Before 2005, I had only one woman tell me that I made her doubt herself. Feel inadequate. This was in the course of a relationship that realistically should have ended in matrimony. If not for her own insecurities.

But since the bomb dropped on January 1st.... I have had 6 individual women tell me on completely separate occasions, point-blank these words.

"I am afraid that I am not good enough for you."

(of course... God being GOD, "What A Fool Believes" by The Doobie Brothers plays at this EXACT moment.... changing the direction of the blog)

Recently... I was seeing somebody for awhile. And it was nice. She was so PRETTY and so smart, and spunky, so energetic, vibrant... So full of "We're going to go HERE and we're going to do THIS!"

She came to the gym to watch me play basketball, we worked out together, ate late-night sushi. We took day trips and long drives. She roller-skated (where we met) and reggae danced. She came to the fight parties, I met her family, she met my friends. Things were nice....

"I want to have your babies" she casually said one day. "You have such beautiful skin... We would have such beautiful brown babies."

She inquired about Islam, my religion, my way of life... living as a Muslim. She asked... playfully, albeit, if I would marry her. She gave up pork by our 3rd date. She changed her style of dress. Altering her behavior, her appearance, and quite POSSIBLY (but not verified) changed her opinions.

Within the last couple of years, I had been saying to people, "I can not be flattered, I am immune to it".

I was wrong.

I was extremely flattered. Moved. I even began feeling a sense of "Loyalty" towards this Sista, I mean.... it's not often that you actually find someone who says "MAKE ME INTO WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE!"

It wasn't until after a conversation with a dear, close friend that I came to a few conclusions.

1. I do not want anyone that I have to change. This includes manipulating, guilt-tripping, convincing, reverse psychology and peer pressure. Yeah, I'm good at them.... but I take no pleasure in it.

2. I do not want to be right all of the time. I am Facts vs your Opinions,and only the most obstinate of retards (read: general American public) would stand behind an Opinion solely based on "How I feel" when the facts contradict your entire BEING. Subjects include: Iraq, Racism, Politics, Militarism, Hip-Pop and the Black Community, The Decline of Morality...

3. I do not want to be in a relationship that I am doing 100% of the teaching. Why?
Because it breeds feelings of Contempt. We all have a need to be stimulated, not just in our Ego, but FEED MY MIND.

So.... when I called her, and told her that I'm not gonna see her any longer, that I do not see a future in this "relationship"

An outpouring (perhaps an onslaught) of emotion and self-doubt. She didn't think that I thought that she was "good enough".... which in the end came back out as "No... I don't think I'm good enough for you, BUT I CAN CHANGE! Haven't you seen me change? Can't you give me credit for trying????"

What I learned, like really truly learned, like the whole moral of the story, the life lesson, "Jerry's Final Thought"... is that I can never, ever, ever settle.
Even if I wanted to.
Because with whomever I would settle.... She would know that I am settling. And her insecurities, her self-doubt, her shortcomings... would all begin to boil and bubble.

Cuz apparently.... I'm really good at that, without even trying.



And if you call yourself interested in me.... ya know, in that special way... and you send mixed messages, or you are inconsistent and think that I am supposed to ASSUME that you feel a certain way, or you wish to be anything other than upfront and forward... Please do note.

Whatever you see in me, others see.
Whatever you know about me, others know.
Whatever you like about me, others like.

So if you have an opportunity... if "we" are a possibility... do not waste it with "games" of hot and cold, or back and forth. Don't get distracted. Don't not be sincere. Don't make me have to guess. Or doubt.


I am accused often of being difficult. Go figure. Me?
"You're just too _______"

Judgmental
Secretive
Private
Quiet
Mean
Opinionated
Arrogant
Overwhelming
Unforgiving
Vindictive

Before you, as an outsider wish to tell ME about myself.... perhaps you should ask somebody who knows me. Yes... there are a few even on MySpace. *head nod*

I stand by my BRAND NEW catch phrase.....

"It's not me.... it's you."